As Sikiratu waka enter our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge and see Iyabode, Aisha and Jumoke dey fight scatter ground, imsef confuse.

Sikiratu look me, I look Sikiratu, nobody fit talk. I open mouth to tell Sikiratu wetin happen, nothing come out for my mouth. Na only “Bulala balablu!” jus dey come out for my mouth. And di meaning I no know.

Sikiratu rush go find one long koboko like dat, bring come begin beat Iyabode, Aisha and Jumoke as dem dey fight.

Sikiratu jus dey wipe dem with di long koboko till dem separate.

Sikiratu bend down, pick di three paper wey dem wan give me before dem begin fight. Na so Sikiratu begin laugh as e read di three paper finish.

I ask Sikiratu wetin make am laugh like say e win Baba Ijebu. Na im Sikiratu give me di three paper. I read am. Olorun Oba o!

So, na list for Keresimesi dis Lagos sisi dem write come give me dat early morning for our garage?

My broda, if you see dis three list, e pass di list wey dem dey give man wey wan marry wife for Owerri or Aba. Noting wey no dey for di three list. If I wan buy everyting wey dey for di three list, even if I sell my guonguoro, sell my wife Bose and sell my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – join all di money togeder, e no go reach one list sef. Tori Olorun!

Sikiratu say na Eledumare bring am come our garage dat very time, say e wan come give me small money make I take join do Keresimesi. E say to say e give me di money before dat day, so na dis sisi dem list I for take service?

I tell Sikiratu say, no be say I sabi dem like dat. I say Iyabode dey carry Ewa Agonyi for head come sell for our garage. Na mobile buka girl. Jumoke na hot agbo e dey come sell and me I no dey drink agbo, na Mutiu, Jimoh and Idowu be im customer. Aisha na sachet ogogoro and fried meat e dey come sell, and me na only My Usual I dey drink.

Di ting wey I no come know be say, even as I no be dia customer, I dey dash dem small, small money if I get. Dat one no be Keresimesi? Shey na everyday be Keresimesi?

Sikiratu say make I enter my guonguoro and start. As I open ignition, Sikiratu open door and enter passenger seat for front.

Sikiratu trowey dia three list for ground for dem. And na so di two both of us drive comot for garage.

Make dem no go find dia own bobo wey dem go enjoy with. Me and Sikiratu na like five and six.

Make we jam again next week Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Being the concluding part of series started last week. Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.