Noting wey man no go take im eye hear and take im nose see for dis our Naija.

Shey, una follow me see di kind heat wey dey for Lagos since dis month? Di ting get as e be o.

I jus dey tink weda make I carry my guonguoro go Lawanson make dem fix A/C for me, make man no come roast for inside one day like Christmas goat wey dem dey take prepared Asu for Madam Shine buka.

Last Saturday na im dey heat nack pass. Two passenger wey I carry for our garage, wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, even add salt plus sand to di injury.

Dem say make I carry dem for drop go Ikoyi, I say oya nau. But since wen dis two old bobo dem enter, na so so ASUU dem dey talk.

Dem say dem dey go ASUU meeting dat afternoon for Yaba.

Dem say ASUU don ready to dabaru everyting if gofment no gree settle dem.

Dem say ASUU no get time for all dose small pikin dem wey talk say dem carry ASUU go court for N10 billion.

Dem say dose small pikin dem no know wetin dem dey do, weda dem don see ordinary N1 million before, wey dem go come dey find N10 billion.

Dem say nobody fit push ASUU dis time until gofment pay ASUU all di money wey dey ground.

Dem say if oga patapata like, make e send soja sef, ASUU no go gree.

Na so so ASUU dis two bobo jus dey talk.

I first tink say weda na Asu, goat wey dem dey roast and fry wey people dey chop for beer parlour. Sebi una sabi dat Asu?

But I come talk am for my mind say, di way dis two bobo take dey talk, dis ASUU fit be Calabar man wey im name be Asuquo, but dem come short am, call am ASUU with style.

As we dey go, dis two bobo still dey talk ASUU. I no come fit bear am again. Na im I ask dem say, “Abeg o, make una no vex. Na wetin be dis ASUU?” Dat time we don climb IBB Bridge.

One of dem come tell me say ASUU na dia union. E say di two both of dem na teacher for university. And dem be ASUU member, say na meeting dem dey go so for Ikoyi.

As I jus hear dat one, my belle come dey turn me. I comot leg for trottle, I no come dey fire di engine of my guonguoro again.

Small time I match break fiiiaamm. I clear for side of di bridge. I open door and come down.

Di two bobo come ask me wetin happen. I tell dem say my engine get troublem. And I no sure say e fit move again becos na so e do yesterday.

Dis two bobo come dey hala. Dem begin speak oyibo. Dem say, “Look at this bafoon. Don't you know we are already late for the exco meeting? If this same thing happened yesterday, why didn't you fix it before you put the gaddam thing on the road again? And you’ve made us stranded on top of this long bridge! Bullshit!!”

As dem dey hala, me I open bonnett dey check di engine. I first check di engine oil, di caburator, di break oil, di headlight, traficator, windscreen etc etc. I jus form over busy.

Na so dem call Uber and lef me dia for on top of Lagos Lagoon. I laugh.

As dem move, I open di door of my guonguoro and took off.

Una never hala. Na una make my two woman pikin – Bisi and Funke – siddon for house since March, after dem don jam JAMB finish, becos say una dey do strike.

Coro come meet una strike. #EndSARS sef come meet di same strike. And una still dey strike up till today. Haba!

No wahala, sebi me sef don strike with my guonguoro. ASUU ko, Asu ni.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.