As Sikiratu jus shout “Oga MAT!!!” wen e come back come see me, na so I rush and finish My Usual kia kia.

I enter my guonguoro, start engine and vamoose. I take Allen Junction, enter Adeniyi Jones Avenue, burst out for Guinness to Moshalashi Alhaja, enter Pen Cinema and begin go my house for Abule Egba.

I no near our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge till di next day.

Wen I enter garage, come see application wey over 100 Lagos sisi dem don drop for me to be my part time wife, as my wife Bose don travel with my two woman pikin dem, Bisi and Funke, go do election for Ondo since last week.

And na only one part time wife I say I need o! Tori Olorun!

If you see di orisirisi application wey dose sisi dem write, hmm, you go bow.

Make I jus show una small:

“Oga MAT,

I read as you talk say you need part time house wife as your family don travel go do Ondo 2020. I ready to show you practical, how I go take service you till Bose come back. Abeg consider me for di job. I no go disappoint you ra-ra-ra.

Na me, your part time wife to be.

Abimbola”

“Oga MAT,

As I jus hear say you need part time wife, na im I begin run come. I know well well say if you see me, you no go even wan make Bose come back, you go jus promote me to full time wife. My boysquarter na helele. Di paw paw wey dey my chest sef, dat one na kill and go. I sabi say you like big big tings, and I get am full load. Abeg, check my application and call me for interview. A trial will confuse you.

Your Biggie,

Miriam.”

“Oga MAT,

I dey alive and you go advertise for newspaper say you need part time wife? So wetin me and you be? Na im be say na lie you dey tell me all dis years say you love me. Why? Anyway sha, make you know say dat job na me get am, weda or wedan't you like am. And noting can stop it.

Your sweetie

Sikiratu a.k.a Siki Babe.”

“Oga MAT,

I beg to apply for di position of part time wife. I ready to satisfy you from all angle. If na food, I sabi cook well well. I go make sure say all your clothe clean. I go even dey wash your guonguoro sote you go dey see your face for di body like say na mirror. Night duty matter nko? Dat one I be expert. If you taste my kini once, you go forgot everyting about dat your Bose. Jus try me and see.

Your part time wife to be,

Ifeoma.”

My broda and sister, shey una follow me see wetin I see so?

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.