Many in my generation grew up reading all of Ian Fleming books. For the information of the younger generation, Ian Fleming was the original creator of James Bond, that handsome, debonair but extremely ruthless British Spy whose exploits entranced the whole world when they were eventually captured on celluloid. James Bond was the one and only Agent 007, with prefix ‘licensed to kill for the Secret Service’. It was a license he described as a great honor. He had several ingenious and disingenuous ways of achieving his purpose including carousing with beautiful women whom he often used and dumped. And killed if they were unfortunate enough to stand in his way.

There are many James Bonds in our system who see their uniform or position as a license to ‘kill’. If not physically, then financially. Or both. Ian Fleming’s James Bond may have romanticized and fantasized the cold world of espionage in our young, impressionable minds. But there is nothing to romanticize or fantasize about the antics of our James Bonds. These people pretend to make money for government but for every Naira they make for government, another Naira is shared by them. If you have ever dealt with these Government Officials, then you would know what I mean. In the 70s and 80s, we often attributed big, gaudy houses in the middle of nowhere to senior Customs Officers as if they were the ones who had more money than sense. This is not saying that they are all corrupt. Or that institutional corruption is limited to the Customs. It is however saying that the system licenses them because the checks to deter corrupt officers are very weak. We can say the same for our tax officials or anyone who deals with revenue for the country. One of the most abused terms is the Best of Judgement assessment (BOJ). I have heard the case of a housewife who was given a BOJ of 70 Million Naira. Not because of any discovered income, but because she is married to a very successful man so it was assumed she must have money. They conveniently forget that the man must have earlier paid tax on whatever he is passing over to the wife. They conveniently ignore the fact that the said woman hardly resides in the country anymore. I have seen the case of a travel agency whose seemingly impressive turnover was actually the sale of airline tickets to clients being given an assessment of one hundred million Naira. Or a long retired Military Officer trying his hands in business to keep idle hands at bay who suddenly found a jump of about a thousand per cent in his BOJ.

We can go on and on about Best of Judgement Assessments being dished out to people. These are people whose standard of living is constantly being eroded by inflation and government policies. It seems the righteous and compliant are being victimized under the guise of raising revenue for government while the real culprits get away. Those who have a structured income have their inflow being savagely scrutinized while the very rich but with nebulous sources of income get away with murder. In this category are politicians and their preferred business fronts, policy makers and even some revenue officers. In this category are kidnappers and their sponsors; scammers and their sponsors. They are the ones with money in different currencies. Yet, they are the ones who get away.

The point to note by whoever gets a disproportionally high BOJ is not to develop insomnia. Or wonder if they have to declare bankruptcy. It is often to intimidate and force a negotiation. It is in the process of a negotiation that ‘ways and means’ of reducing the liabilities are suggested and discussed. It is not unusual for a Million Naira to be paid to government from a seven Million Naira BOJ. That is the license they have. That is the power they have. Embedded in this power is the adroit use of time. Government officials across the spectrum are hardly in a hurry, especially when it comes to negotiating terms. You are the one who sees the noose of a financial deadline tightening. You are the one who desperately wants to get out of their clutches. You are the one who wants to do other, more liberating things. All they have is time and they can use it to coerce and intimidate when necessary. And if you can play time poker with them, then you might have a better deal. I learnt this at another level and in another setting several decades ago. I was going home to Festac Town when I was stopped at a check point under the Isolo Bridge. The officer asked for my car particulars. I gave him. He checked. They were complete. He asked me to give him something. I declined because he could have asked and saved time if that was what he wanted. He asked where I was coming from at that time of the night – it was 2am. I kept quiet, but told myself it was none of his business – I was actually coming from work and was tired. Very tired. He asked me to park. I did, to avoid any mishap considering the time of day. After about 30 minutes, another officer asked what my offence was. He said I was being stubborn. A lull. Another 15 minutes. Then this officer begged for my release. Many people would have paid a stipend and would have long gone home. It is called giving to Caesar what belongs to Caesar in Nigeria. I chose not to. I was young enough and connected with the police hierarchy of the time enough to cause wahala at daybreak.

A similar scenario presented itself last month. It was at Alausa, the seat of Lagos State Government. Time was about 2pm. Alausa allegedly craws with traffic officers and CCTV making many drivers to be wary when they pass through. My driver was no different. This was what made him stop at a junction when he saw red. But the red light was to turn left and we were going straight. His hesitation was probably for a few seconds but it was enough for a LASTMA official to beckon to him as if to move him on. Only for this man to pull us aside as we made to pass him. Our offence? We were obstructing traffic even if there was no vehicle behind us. I was livid. He entered the car as if he owned it and made to direct us to the head office. I knew what he wanted and would have called his bluff. But I didn’t have the luxury of time. I was in Ikeja for a quick purpose after which the car was to take some family members to the International Airport. I gave unto Caesar its filthy lucre. I am still seething weeks after. I feel the urge to take that route again when I have time on my hands and hope somebody would stop me.

But what would be the point? They and their ilk have been licensed to fleece the public on the road and elsewhere. That is why there are no consequences. After all, Lagos State must know this happens under its very nose. Their Ogas must know it happens.