Dis my taxi driver work no dey allow me do anoder ting at all, at all.

Na wen people don go chop finish, clean mouth, na dat time I go come hear am for passenger mouth.

Yesterday I carry two passenger like dat for drop go Balogun market. Di wey I see di bobo and di sisi, I sure say dem wan go buy plenty tings for Balogun market for Isale Eko.

Di two both of dem come our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. Dem take me for drop. Di bobo siddon for front, di sisi siddon for back seat.

As we dey go for road, di two both of dem dey talk how dem take waka for Abuja dat week wey dem do party election.

I no first put ear for wetin dem dey talk, after all, how many tori person go dey hear for passenger dem mouth? If you wan hear everyting, from morning till night, na im be say ear go begin pain you.

But wetin catch my ear for dis my two passenger tori as I dey drive dem go Balogun market, na wen dem jus mention dollars.

Di sisi say e be delegate for one party wey dey always use umbrella for sun like afin. Di bobo say im too na delegate for dat party wey dey always carry wintch broom.

Dem say na so so dollar di oga dem wey wan win election pay dem.

Di sisi say di first oga give all di delegate 30k dollars. Second oga give dem 15k dollars. Den, anoder oga give dem 20k dollars.

I nearly wan put mouth ask am which oga e vote for. But I manage keep my mouth for shut up make di sweet tori continue.

Di bobo sef talk di same ting. My broda, I nearly faint for steering.

I come talk am for my mind say, so dis sisi and dis bobo get 65k dollars each as dem dey so? Olorun Oba o!

No wonder dem wan go buy all di orisirisi wey dey for Balogun market.

No wonder di sisi talk say as e come back from Abuja, e first go Sheraton Hotel for Ikeja go rest for one week. After dat, e travel go buy land for im state capital wey e wan take build dat kind Sheraton Hotel.

Di bobo say im own, as e finish di dollars election for Abuja, e carry im Papa, Mama, Grandmama and village head go do holiday for America. E say e jus come back yesterday, na im e say make e go charter clothe, Italian shoe, leather bag, gold watch, gold earring, gold chain and gold teeth for di sisi wey e wan marry. Tori Olorun!

I drop dem for Balogun market, dem pay me. I look di money well well. I tink say na dollar dem take pay me, I come see say na dis our naira wey don resemble tissue paper dem take pay me.

But na wetin I go do wen I no be delegate?

As I drive dey go back, I jus dey tink plenty tings.

So, dis kind ting dey for dis our contry, na im I dey here dey suffer with dis my guonguoro everyday for Lagos road?

So dis kind ting dey, na im me and my family still dey live for Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house for Abule Egba with one toilet and one bafroom for 20 tenant and all dia family?

So dis kind ting dey, na im I never trowey dis my guonguoro and buy tear rubber take do Uber abi na Bolt?

Shey 65k dollars for one delegate na moi moi?

I take Eledumare name beg una, if dem still wan person as delegate, make una hala me, I full ground. Abi make I give una di number of my torchlight chinko phone?

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.