E good make man dey put eye well for anyting wey im dey do, if no be so, you go jus peme one time.

I don dey hear tele tele say Calabar and Ondo people dem dey compete to show who chop dog pass. If you look Ondo man face, you go see two mark wey start for below im eye, go land near im mouth. If you no look am well, you go tink say e dey cry because di mark resemble tears no be small.

I no know weda na true but di time wey we be small pikin, dem tell us say na dog cause dat ting. Say as dia grand papa like to chop dog reach, sote dog come vex one day wen di old man wan kill am chop. Na so dem begin fight till dog tear am for face. Na im dem come begin dey call Ondo people Ara ilu Oke, (a.k.a. Araoke), just as dem dey call we Ogbomoso people Owala (a.k.a Okola). If you see any Ondo man, call am dat name, But anyting wey happen, no call my name-o!

But Calabar man own na im get pity pass. Since wen my mama born me, I don dey hear say Calabar man no dey take eye see dog.

Dat’s why if you go Calabar, e go hard before you see any dog waka for road. Any dog wey you see, if you just carry your hand up small, di ting go run 440. Afraid dey always catch all di dog for dia becos di dog sabi say e fit land for pot anytime. Na 404 dem dey call dog. Give Calabar man palm wine and dog meat, e go jus become your houseboy kia kia.

All dis tori wey I dey nack una so, I no take am serious until last Thursday for Oshodi/Apapa expressway.

I go drop one passenger like dat for Mile 2. As I dey come back, I don reach dat Iyana Isolo wen my eye jus fly go one sisi like dat wey stand for dat bus-stop.

I sure say di sisi dey wait for any bobo wey go give am lift and from dia…

Di ting wey really catch my eye na di kind clothe wey di sisi wear.

I sure say dat sisi no go ever bend down to pick someting for ground. Di dress short no be small. And di sisi come make sure say e lef im chest open. Di pelenge top wey e wear only cover di two paw paw wey point out like say e wan enter person eye. Imagine di likeness!

Any man wey see dat sisi and e no turn im eye, na im be say im neck dey pain am. Man don hear nwi for all dis Lagos sisi hand.

My broda, na so I no come put eye for steering. Di next ting be say I hear ppoossaarrhh! Wen I stop come down, I tank Eledumare say na ordinary dog I jam.

But di next ting I see be say 5 hefty bobo like dat jus rush me. Before, I tink say weda na di people wey get di dog and dem wan come make troublem with me. My broda, I no know say dem get hidden agenda.

Small time, two of dem begin drag di dog. Na later I come know say na Ondo man and Calabar man dey fight for dog wey don peme.

Di ting vex me no be small. I start my engine, carry my guonguoro and move.

Na only Eledumare know how dem go don settle. My only prayer be say, make anoda Russia and Ukraine war no start from dia o, all becos of 404 wey motor jam for road.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Sourced from Matilda’s Blog