My people, wahala dey o!

Na me use my korokoro mouth talk last week say I need part time wife, as Bose and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – don travel go Ondo for election.

I say make sisi wey get interest come show face on Saturday for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

My broda, e never nack 6 o'clock am in di morning dat day wen orisirisi Lagos sisi dem don come full our garage, dey wait for me.

As I drive my guonguoro near di garage, no way to enter. Every wia don full patapata. Tori Olorun!

Afraid come catch me. I talk am for my mind say, if I make mistake enter dat garage, and dem know say na me be Oga MAT wey dey find part time wife, dem go jus mob me.

Na so I put my guonguoro for revise, turn for under di bridge, and begin drive go Madam Shine buka to go wait till further notice.

As I reach for Madam Shine buka, I see say na only Madam Shine dey serve customer dat morning. I ask Madam Shine, e say all im sales girl dem tell am say dem dey come drop application for our garage, plus including Sikiratu. But e say dem no tell am which kind work dem dey apply for. Olorun Oba o!

I drag chair take siddon. I tell Madam Shine make e nack me one bottle of My Usual make I take am shine my eye dat morning.

As Madam Shine open di bottle, e pour di drink for me, den come siddon for my side. E put one hand around my neck, look into my eye, smile and ask me: “Oga MAT, which kind work you get for una garage wey go make all my sales girls run go apply?”

As correct Naija man, me sef use question jam im question. I ask am why e no ask im sales girls di time dem tell am say dem dey go apply for work.

Madam say as e don see me, na im be say no need to ask anoder person again. Say e wan hear am for di horse's mouth.

“So, you dey use style abuse me dis morning?” I ask Madam Shine.

“Emi ke? How I go abuse a whole Oga MAT? Who give me dat kind power to abuse di only Man About Town in di hole universe?” Madam Shine begin whine me.

Dat time, my torch light chinko phone begin ring. As I pick am, na our union chairman Jimoh dey call.

Me, I kukuma sabi wetin Jimoh wan talk. Na im I carry di phone go outside make dat amebo Okoro woman no hear wetin me and Jimoh wan talk.

Jimoh ask me wetin I dey do with all di Lagos sisi dem wey don full for garage dey wait for me. I tell Jimoh make e no vex, say I been forgot to tell am on Friday.

Jimoh say, dis one no be matter of vex, na be say no way for anybody to drive enter di garage. E say sisi wey dey dia plenty pass people for market square sef, and all of dem dey wait for me. E say all of dem carry application come.

I tell Jimoh make e use style tell all of dem to drop dia application and go, say I go get in touch with dem.

E no reach 10 minutes wen me and Jimoh talk finish, I say make I go begin take My Usual, na im Sikiratu and all Madam Shine buka sales girls dem come back, one by one.

As Sikiratu see me, e shout: “Oga MAT!!!”

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.