To say I know, I no for announce di order day say I wan return to my village for Ogbomoso.

Di kind orisirisi message wey don enter my torch-light chinko phone, na wa.

Na per second per second my phone go jus dey sound prang prang. Na sms o. Na im make I don dey charge my phone battery tire since last week. And no be say NEPA dey gree bring light for our area Abule Egba. Na only darkness NEPA sabi generate. But bill go still come, and we must pay.

I say no be only me go read all dis message, I must to make una follow me read am, even dough I no fit bring all of dem here.

See like dis ones:

Dear Oga MAT,

Wia you talk say you wan run go? Me and you go go back to dat your village togeder. So you wan lef only me for Lagos? You wan kill person? Di ting be say you no sabi say I love you. Na me be dat woman wey dey sell monkey tail for una garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. Even dough you no dey follow buy market for my hand, I dey use style dey admire you. And na di time I don plan say I wan tell you my mind, na im you come talk say you dey go back to your village. O ti o! Abeg Oga MAT, you must to change your mind, e joor.

- Mama Iyabode

Ikeja, Lagos

Dear Oga MAT,

I don conclude arrangements say I must land for Naija immediately after dis Coro. Me and all my friends here for America no dey take your sweet, sweet gists play at all at all. Na im make, as we jus read dat your gist last week say you dey plan to go back to your village, me and my friends dem contribute money say make I bring come give you for Naija after Coro. I no go tell you how many dollars we don contribute to take support your ministry, you must to wait till I come. If I land for Lagos and I no see you, well, I go carry di money go back to US. Na as I dey read your gists everytime make me come sabi broke pigin like dis o. Shey I try?

- Emmanuella Parker

Florida, USA.

Dear Oga MAT,

You don try for Lagos. You run comot for Standard 5 for di night school wey dey your village for Ogbomoso becos Arike Papa wan take African Insurance finish you. As you talk say Arike don born dat pikin tipe tipe, na im be say di pikin go don become papa pikin too. Go back and claim your pikin, im mama (Arike), plus including your grand pikin dem. I sure say all of dem wan know you. No deceive yoursef again for Lagos say na only two woman pikin and one wife you get. Go village go claim your mandate.

-Yusuf Idris

Sokoto.

Abeg na here I go stop today. Plenty still remain but I no sure say I go fit show una all today.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.