E get as market be dis period of conokoko. And I hear say di ting affect all business. Even sef, I hear say ashawo na dem dey complain pass. Dem say business no dey since dis cono show face for Naija.

Our Union Treasurer, Idowu tell me yesterday say one ashawo for Ipodo tell am say before na like 20 customer e dey get every day, but since cono enter for Lagos, to even see one customer sef na wahala. Idowu say di ashawo dey plan to go back to im village for Otukpo if dis conokoko no disappear quick.

I ask Idowu wetin e go do for Ipodo, sote e come dey discus deep with ashawo. Idowu say make I lef wetin dem write for motor and enter di motor.

We sef wey be taxi driver, na our own bad pass. Plenty people dey siddon for house now. Any day we see one or two passenger carry, we go begin happy.

Dat’s why yesterday, I say before I go begin siddon deysleep for our garrage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge,make I first carry my two woman pikin dem–Bisi and Funke–go drop for di center wey dem give dem to take write JAMB. Di place na after Abule Egba wey we dey live, on your way to Sango Ota.

Di kind Go-slow wey dey for dat road dat yesterday morning, hmm, I never see am before. From Abule Egba go reach di JAMB center take us like two hour. We comot for house around 7 o’clock a. m in di morning, we no reach dia till 9. And di exam don nearly start. Tori Olorun!

As I jus drive my guonguoro enter di center compound, na im di examiner say make di student dem enter di exam hall. I tell Bisi and Funke make dem quick quick come down and run inside di hall.

But di ting wey I see shock me gan!

As my two pikin enter di hall, I wan put my guonguoro for revise, turn and begin go back, na im one bobo and one sisi like dat beg me make I wait small make dem enter. Dem say dem wan follow do di JAMB but dem wan first do someting inside my guonguoro.

Before I even answer dem, di two both of dem don open di door and jump inside di passenger seat for back.

Di next ting be say, di bobo bring out one long paper wey e don take copy all di book wey dey for dis world, open im shokoto trouser zip, put di paper inside im dross and zip di shokoto back.

Den, di sisi sef bring out im own long paper and tell di bobo make e helep am put am for inside im kini. Na so di bobo collect di paper, di sisi do like say e lie down for di seat, open im two leg wide for di bobo to push di long paper inside patapata. Olorun Oba o!

I hear wen di bobo tell di sisi say, wen dem jus begin write di JAMB, make e do like say e wan go piss for toilet, den bring out di paper and check, come back and begin answer di question. Di bobo say na so im sef go do.

Di bobo say JAMB don dey jam am five years now. E say but dis time o, im don ready to jam di JAMB weda JAMB like am or not.

Na so dem run out go enter di JAMB hall.

My mouth jus be like say dem use superglue gum am. I no fit open am. I shock reach bone. I jus put my guonguoro for gear one, and begin go my way.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.