I tell am say Otta na Ogun State, and I no dey go outside Lagos dis period of odun becos of go-slow wey full everywia. Di bobo say make I no worry, say na im oga send am go carry someting for Otta, say wen we come back oga go settle me well well.
E say make I jus tell am my price, dats all. I tell am my price, and di bobo no jus argue. E even pay me in advance. Olorun Oba o!
We reach Otta, di bobo direct me enter one farm like dat. Na so, so turkey dem dey keep for dat farm.
Na so di bobo, wey later tell me say im name na Biodun, enter inside and call di oga of di poultry. Quick, quick, di poultry oga don order all di worker dem make dem load my guonguoro with turkey. E tell dem say na dia oga patapata, di owner of di farm, get am.
E no reach 10 minutes, dem don load plenty basket of turkey full inside my guonguoro “ inside boot, back seat, front passenger seat. Dem even tie some on top of my guonguoro roof. E remain make dem put am for inside bonnet.
As we come dey go back to Lagos, Biodun even carry four basket of turkey for im leg. Me sef wey dey drive, I carry two basket for on top of my steering dash board. Tori Olorun!
Wen we enter Biodun oga compound for Ogba, come see people full everywia. E come be like say di compound na market wey orisirisi people dey.
Na dat time Biodun come tell me say im oga na councilor, say na so people dey full for im house 24/7. E say im oga wan use di turkey and di ofada rice wey e don buy tele tele settle im godfather dem and im boys.
As I dey go back, councilor say make Biodun give me two giant turkey like dat. I happy no be small.
But I no go back to garage becos of all dose our long throat union member dem, I carry di two giant turkey go drop for my house for Abule Egba.
Before I begin go back to garage, I give my wife Bose money make e take organise food for di two turkey.
I tell Bisi say e go dey take care of one turkey, im sisiter Funke go take care of di second turkey while dia Mama, Bose go be di general overseer till Keresimasi and New Year wey we go don butcher di two turkey for enjoyment. My family happy no be small.
As I go back to garage, I no even wait make night come. I rush go back to house to see my two giant turkey.
I no even off my guonguoro engine wen Bisi run come tell me say, as im and di sister go buy turkey food come back, dem see say di two turkey don disappear. Tori Olorun!
As I dey so, I dey vex gan! Who be dat person wey come thief my family Xmas and New Year turkey?
But me I dey suspect Briamoh, our face-me-I-face-you landlord pikin. Dat bobo na for house e dey always dey. Di only time wey e dey comot na wen e wan go smoke igbo for dia joint.
I ready for Braimoh and Papa Braimoh dis time. I must to make sure say dem return my two giant turkey. I ready to go meet Baba Ijebu, Bose dia pastor and our union chairman Jimoh papa wey be alfa for Iyana Ipaja.
No how, no how, by di time di three both of dem finish di assignment, my two giant turkey must to come out.
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s leading online newspaper. Published by Africa’s international award-winning journalist, Mr. Isaac Umunna, NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s first truly professional online daily newspaper. It is published from Lagos, Nigeria’s economic and media hub, and has a provision for occasional special print editions. Thanks to our vast network of sources and dedicated team of professional journalists and contributors spread across Nigeria and overseas, NEWS EXPRESS has become synonymous with newsbreaks and exclusive stories from around the world.
