Sebi na me use my mouth tell una say make una helep me draft di reply wey I go send to Sikiratu concerning di letter, sorry budget, wey e give me di order day?

See wetin people write:

Dear Oga MAT,

All dis Lagos sisi na wa o. So Sikiratu wan make you pack all di money wey you for take do dis Keresimasi with your family, dash am? For wetin sef? Man no go play with all dis small small Lagos sisi dem again without paying tax? Haba! Abeg fashi dat buka girl maza maza.

– Mustapha Bello

Sokoto.

Dear Oga MAT,

Which one you say make people helep you write wetin you go tell your girlfriend Sikiratu? Di time wey una dey do lovi lovi, we dey dia? Na pay back time. Di ting wey you don sow since January, na harvest time be dis. Siki Babe must do Xmas nah.

– Ngozi Nzeh

Independence Layout

Enugu.

Dear Oga MAT,

If you wan make I helep you write reply wey you go give Sikiratu concerning im Xmas Budget 2019, I dey ready. But you must to pay me consultancy fee. After all, I no send you market. Dat budget sef too small. If na me, hmmnn, you for hear nwi for my hand.

– Osas Lucky

Benin City, Edo State.

Dear Oga MAT,

Dat your Sikiratu na long throat dey worry am. How e go give you dat kind bill just becos of Odun Keresimasi wey dey come? If you give am 100k, wetin you go give your wife Bose and your two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke? Na wetin Sikiratu carry sef? Na real oju kokoro dey worry dat girl. Forget am joor.

– Segun Oladipo

Ebute Metta, Lagos.

Dear Oga MAT,

If na me be you, I for tell Sikiratu say I don carry my family go do Xmas for my village Ogbomosho since last month even before e submit im budget. How much your guonguoro dey give you wey you go count 100k dash dat buka girl? I sure say dat budget is seriously padded. See as eeven include G-String pants (lace and plain). Nsuto mkpo! Abeg, run for dat Sikiratu o. Di sisi wan use razor blade tear your pocket.

– Ekaette Michael

Uyo, Akwa Ibom State.

Dear Oga MAT,

Why you make issue out of di small dough your babe, Sikiratu say make you give am to do Xmas wey dey come so? How much is 100k sef? So you no fit jus dash your babe 1000 dollars? Is dat too much? Abeg release the bucks, after all di babe must maintain body for you nah. E even talk say e no get any order bobo except you. Dat one alone suppose to wake you up. Abeg pardon my pidgin o. I be Yankee babe.

– Stephanie Wallace

New York City, USA.

Dear Oga MAT,

I for say make you sell dat your guonguoro, den add money join am and give to Sikiratu to take do odun keresimasi. E be like say dat Lagos don tire you, you wan begin go back to your village for Ogbomosho. Na your wife Bose and your two woman pikin – Bisi and Funke – I dey pity. If na only you, I for say if you like, go take bank loan dash woman. Agbaya oshi ni yin!

– Rafiu Somefun

Challenge, Ibadan.

My people, se una see di orisirisi tings wey all dis people tell me? E still plenty o, only be say space no too dey to show una all.

But me I believe say Eledumare go tell me wetin I go tell Sikiratu.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.