We don enter December, odun keresimasi don land finish. And as di odun keresimasi (Xmas for short) don reach so, na orisirisi tings go dey happen. Na we taxi driver wey dey always dey for road 24/7 dey see pass.

Just check am, before now all dis Lagos sisi dem go dey look person anya anya, dem no go ever greet person. And if you say make you manage greet dem sef, dem no go mind you rarara. Dem go do iyanga tolotolo and waka pass.

But since December show face, all dose sisi wey no dey mind person teletele, now na dem go first greet man. Dem go even add jara wen dem greet - dem go smile, den wait for reply, before dem waka pass. Se, na by force?

And wen dem dey go, jus look back and see how dem dey shake dia boysquarters so dat you go call dem back. If you make mistake call dem back, my broda, be ready to receive Xmas budget at di end of di short talk.

Na dat time you go hear, “Honey, how we go take do dis Xmas nah”.

Honey ko, bitter kola ni.

Na so I carry passenger yesterday go drop for Dopemu. As I come back to our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, na im our union Treasurer Idowu give me one brown envelop like dat.

I ask Idowu who bring di envelop, e say na Sikiratu bring am di time I carry passenger go drop for Dopemu.

I open di envelop wey dem write my name, bring out di letter and begin read:

“Good afternoon my darling sugar, Oga MAT. I no know wetin you give me wey be say if I no hear your voice one second, my body go be like say e no complete again. Anyway sha, I jus say make I remind you say, as we don enter December so, na im be say Xmas don reach finish. You kukuma sabi say I no get any order man for my life, only you. Abeg I need di following tings to take celebrate di odun well well:

1. Mini skirt

2. Pink top to match

3. Make up kit

4. Italian shoe

5. Leather bag to match

6. G-string pants (lace and plain)

7. Human hair

8. Brazilian hair

9. Native chicken, as dem don close border

10. One carton of Satzenbra

11. One carton of malt

12. Two bottles of wine

13. Ofada or Abakiliki rice, as dem don close border

14. One jerry can of Ororo

15. Condiments

“Honey, I go fit manage 150k for all dis tings. I sabi say you love me but I love more, so I trust say you no go disappoint your darling. Tank you very much. Your sugar, Siki Babe.”

Una see wetin I mean? Se, dis one no pass national budget? Abi dis buka girl tink say na me be national asembly wey go make am submit dis kind budget?

So becos of keresimasi, person no go play with all dis small small sisi dem again?

Since dat yesterday wey I receive Sikiratu letter, sorry budget, I don dey tink wetin I go write as reply.

Abeg if you like me, helep me draft di reply and send to me make I forward am to Sikiratu.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.