As I see say na Sikiratu dey call me for my torchlight chinko phone, I confuse.

Why Sikiratu go call me wen be say na dis madam wey I dey carry go Maryland so, be di only passenger wey I don see since morning?

As e be say I dey drive, I park for roadside say make I pick di call. My passenger begin hala. E say make I no jus waste im time, say e dey rush go one important meeting for Maryland. E say e don late sef for di meeting, na im make e carry me for drop.

I tell di madam make e no vex, make I jus answer di call for one minute.

Di madam no gree o. E say make I move now, now, now, orderwise e no go pay me.

By dat time, I don pick di call. Sikiratu hear as di madam dey hala for my head.

Sikiratu ask me who be dat. I tell am say na one passenger wey I dey carry go drop for Maryland. Sikiratu ask me wia we don reach now, I tell am say we jus dey enter Ikeja airport road, to begin face Sheraton hotel and from dia to Maryland.

Sikiratu ask weda di madam don pay me, I say I no even remember to tell am how much e go pay.

Sikiratu say e dey for our garage, as I never go far, make I tell di madam to go down. Sikiratu say e bring plenty tings for me, and e no go fit wait for long. Tori Olorun!

I no come know di mouth wey I go take tell dis my wahala passenger make e come down, dat I wan turn back go meet person wey dey wait for me for garage.

I come breath in and breath out four times. I use boldface tell di madam say I no wan go Maryland again, say my guonguoro get engine troublem.

Di madam nearly give me one dirty slap from di backseat wey e siddon.

I kukuma off engine, comot di key and siddon dia dey look steering anyanya.

Wen di madam see say I serious, nobody tell am make e come down.

My broda, na so I quick, quick start my engine, put am for revise, take dat U-turn near Police College, and begin rush to go meet Sikiratu for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

(To be continued)

Make we jam again next Saturday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.