E get as dis new year wey we enter so be. Money no jus dey any wia, and na we taxi driver dey suffer am pass.

Person go jus siddon ti-ti-ti-ti for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, dey look road anyanya weda even one passenger go show face, for wia!

You say make you put your taxi for road and see weda anybody go stop you say make you go drop am somewia, dat one na im woss pass. You go jus waste your petrol for noting, and petrol now no be moi moi.

Na im make some of our union member dem no dey jus show face for garage as tings come be like dis. Dem kukuma dey siddon for house. Weda dem get anoder business wey dem dey do, I no know.

But how I go jus pack my guonguoro for house and begin dey sleep, wake up, chop, sleep, wake up, chop everyday? Olorun maje!

See like yesterday, I siddon from 7 o’clock a.m. in di morning wey I land for garage, one madam like dat waka enter, e say make I carry am for drop go Maryland.

Quick, quick, I jump inside my guonguoro, open ignition, I tell di madam make e enter. I no even remember to ask am which place gan gan for Maryland I dey carry am go. I no remember to tell am how much e go pay before e enter. I no also remember to tell am say na new naira note I dey collect now o, as e be say oga for Central Bank dey hala say di old naira note go become toilet paper from Monday.

Why I been forgot all dis ting na becos my belle sweet me, no be small. I come talk am for my mind say, shey to say I siddon for house, I go see dis passenger?

I sha carry di madam begin dey go for Maryland.

As I jus turn for under bridge for Ikeja roundabout, begin face Sheraton hotel, make we from dia pass go Maryland, na im my torchlight chinko phone begin ring grin, grin, grin! I look who dey call, na Sikiratu…

(To be continued)

Make we jam again next Saturday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.