Eledumare good no be small. As dis year wan finish so, I carry my mind go all di orisirisi tings wey di son of man pass tru for Lagos road everyday.

Which one I go talk, we one I no go talk? Shey, na all di Lagos sisi dem wey dey try to rape me for inside my guonguoro so dat dem no go pay for drop? Abi na tyre wey you jus buy today, tomorrow you hear ppuuuooorrrh as you dey go for express road?

Wat of all di gbomo gbomo people wey go come as passenger, wen you carry dem, dem go pour juju for your face make you sleep so dat dem go carry your taxi go?

Amu robber wey full for Lagos nko? Na so person go dey drive dey go but dem no go ever see person.

Na all dis ting I siddon dey tink dis morning wen I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

My wife Bose tell me dis morning wen I comot for our house wey dey for Abule Egba, say make I close quick today, come carry di hole family go crossover night for dia church wey dey for Pen Cinema.

I no answer am wen e talk am, I jus hear am. Me, wey no dey go church. I no even enter mosque one day. But dat one no mean say I no know say Eledumare dey for up.

Since wen I run come Lagos from my village for Ogbomoso in 1965, after I finish my mecho apprentice and begin dis my taxi driver work, everyday I dey for road 24/7.

I still remember say di last time wey my leg enter church, na dis time last year wen Bose force me make I carry di family go dis same church for Pen Cinema. As I drop dem, I wan revise my guonguoro to go continue with my work dat night, but my tyre flat and I no come know wia I keep my jack to fix spare tyre.

Come see people full for inside di church trowey for outside. My wife Bose and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – sef siddon for outside, no chance to enter inside di church.

I hear wen di Pastor say make everybody make New Year Resol…Resolu…Res… Wetin be dat ting again? Resol… Abeg, make I no come bite my tongue. Make we jus call am New Year Swear.

Small time, I hear wen Pastor talk say one taxi driver dey for outside wey im tyre go down and e no see jack to fix spare tyre. E say make di usher dem bring me inside. I shock.

Na so I follow dem inside o. Pastor say make di hole church point dia hand for my body, dey pray for me. Come see prayer!

After, Pastor say e see vision for me. Afraid come dey catch me weda Pastor see wetin me and Sikiratu dey do.

But Pastor come talk say, very soon, I go be Chief Driver for Aso Rock. Di hole church shout Amin!!! Olorun Oba o!

But di ting be say, year don end again today, I still be taxi driver for our garage. Which day I go enter Aso Rock as Chief Driver?

Na im make, wen Bose say I go carry dem go drop for dia church dis year crossover night again, I remember Aso Rock.

I come talk am for my mind say, I go close quick dis evening, carry my family go crossover night again dis year, weda or wedan’t dat Pastor go still see dat my Aso Rock vision again.

In fact, as you dey read dis tori so, I don close for garage, dey go carry my family for house go church.

I must enter Aso Rock, na im be my own New Year Reso…Resolu…Res…

Sha, una know wetin I wan talk. Helep me complete am.

Make we jam again next week Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Happy New Year in advance.

•Created by Sunny Okim, Oga MAT is the longest running Pidgin column in Nigerian media, since 1994.