If you see as some people load food for dia plate for dat seminar for Alausa dat day, ehn! Nobody wan waka pass any pot, and na so some people pack di food sote di ting dey fall trowey.

Me, I jus take my poundo, efo and ori eja, go one corner dey hammer am. After dat, I take one bottle water wash am down. All dis sugar drink dem full for dia, but di son of man no near any one ra-ra-ra. Una kukuma sabi say, if e no be Panadol, e no fit be like Panadol!

Wen we go back for seminar hall, some people belle don full sote as dem siddon, na so dem dey breath like pussy cat wey use long throat swallow big toad.

Di next ting, one gofment official say make we stand up and welcome Oga patapata for Lagos.

Na so our belove gofnor, Oga Sanwo-Olu, jus waka enter, dey smile with im open teeth.

I come talk am for my mind say, so na me and Oga Sanwo-Olu dey for inside di same place like dis? E come be like say I dey dream.

Oga Sanwo-Olu come tank us for our vote for primary di order time (like say na we be delegate)

E say dat’s why e organise di seminar to take tank us. E also talk say wetin we learn for di seminar go helep reduce traffic wahala for Lagos road.

Oga Sanwo-Olu come tell us say, e don arrange “someting” wey dem go give us to take put fuel for our taxi as we dey go back.

At last, Oga Sanwo-Olu talk say before dis year finish, e go select some of us Lagos taxi driver dem send go America, to go learn and see how oyibo dey drive dia taxi for dia road.

Oga Sanwo-Olu come announce say, di first name for im list na Oga MAT! Olorun Oba o!

Come see as di hole hall come dey hail me. Oga patapata for Lagos come shake my hand and take photo with me sef. (Una go see di photo next time).

E talk say im dey read all di sweet, sweet tori wey I dey nack inside The Frontier. E say make I helep am greet Oga Sunny Okim. I tell am say e go hear.

So, even Oga Sanwo-Olu sabi me? I don become international taxi driver be dat o!

America here I come! Olorun modupe lowoyin o.

Make we jam again next week Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog