For dis our taxi driver work, sometimes you go hear some kind tori and see some kind tings wey go make your body weak patapata.

And di ting be say, dis my taxi driver work na one kind work wey temptation full inside. You go see woman wey enter your motor, di next ting e go tell you be say e no hold money but dat e ready to pay in kind.

Before you open your mouth sef to answer am, e don begin use hand dey play guitar with your kini as you dey drive dey go for road.

If you no be strong man, na so you go jus fall yakata. I wonder how many strong man dey for dis world.

Na im make my wife Bose dey always talk say taxi driver work na ashawo work.

Na so one bobo like dat take me for charter di order day. Di bobo waka come meet me for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, e say make I carry am for charter go Oyingbo. But e tell me say wen we reach Palmgrove bus-stop for Ikorodu Road, make I park, say one sisi go join us go Oyingbo. I say no troublem. I tell am my price, e gree. I say make e enter. E enter for back.

My broda, I no even park sef for Palmgrove wen one woman like dat jus rush enter, siddon with my passenger for back seat.

From di ting dem dey talk for Yoruba (I no know weda dem tink say my name na Obi), I come know say di man na manager for bank and di woman na im staff but na anoda man wife wey don born like four pikin for im husband. Di man sef get im own family o.

So, dem don arrange to meet and take off to one short time for Oyingbo. Dem go far make nobody see dem ra-ra-ra.

Wen we reach di place, di oga pay me half di money wey we gree. E say make I wait for am, say dem wan do small meeting for inside and dem no go spend like 2 hour. I come talk am for my mind say Baba oshi ni yin. Who be small pikin? Meeting ko, Conference ni!

Na so I wait for dis people ti-ti-ti-ti. Since 11 o’clock a.m in di morning wen we reach Oyingbo, 5 o’clock pm in di evening dem still dey inside. I come tink say e fit be say di bobo don play me 419. Dem fit don finish dia chuku chuku meeting, den take backyard vamus.

As I say make I go inside di hotel go find out wetin dey happen, na im di hotel manager come dey run upadan, dey call all im worker dem.

Everybody come dey run kpru kpru kpru, like say fire don catch di hotel. Small time, everybody run go one room. And na so I run follow dem like mumu.

Wen we enter di room, my broda, di ting wey my mouth see, my eye no fit talk am. See my two passenger lie down naked. And di two both of dem don peme be dat o. Tori Olorun!

Na after later I come hear say di woman work as cleaner for di same bank with di bank oga. But small time di woman come like di bank oga pass di husband wey put am for di cleaner work. Small time di woman come begin get promotion pass im husband so-te from cleaner, di woman become oga secretary.

No do, no do, di woman pack comot for dia face-me-I- face-you house for Agege, lef im 4 pikin dem, go live for flat for Ikeja.

Dem tink say di husband na mugu. Dem no know say di husband don put magun for di wife kini as e don dey suspect am tipe tipe. And magun mean for our language say, don’t climb. Bank manager don go climb wetin e no suppose to climb.

Na so afraid come dey catch me as I find my way, carry my guonguoro begin dey go back garage.

Up till now wey I dey nack una dis tori so, I no fit open my mouth tell our union member dem for garage. I no even tell my family. Olorun Oba o!

Make we jam again on Saturday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.