Laugh full my mouth, I no know how I go take pour am comot.

Since last week, our union chairman, Jimoh no let person rest for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Jimoh na one kind person, I swear! Na so e lef all im plenty wife dem wey dey every corner for Lagos, take one gbana sisi like dat travel go Ibadan go do last Sallah. Our chairman wey dey answer Jimoh for Xmas and Jimmy for Ileya so dat e no go dey do odun for anybody.

Jimoh wey im eye no dey comot for woman body. If you carry wood wey dem carve like woman, put di wood skirt for body, Jimoh eye go enter dia.

Yesterday, Jimoh buy one full bag of rice come share for our garage. E give everybody, plus including all dose woman dem wey dey sell gbaraga, and all di Aboki shoe shiner dem wey full for under di bridge.

I come dey wonder wetin go make my Chair open hand like dis. Jimoh wey I know well well say even if you wan peme, na so e go jus dey look you like say e drink one drum of Lukozade Boost.

I no blame am sha. Jimoh na Ijebu man. E come from Ijebu Igbo. Aroro too much for im body. But dat yesterday Jimoh surprise everybody.

Na so e even spray mint 1k notes for all dose garage bobo dem. Come see as agbero dem dey scramble for money.

Afraid come begin catch me weda Jimoh don take one of im plenty wife, or im mama sef, do gbomo gbomo. I no trust all dis people, kobo!

As e share rice and trowey money finish, Jimoh come gather everybody for di centre of di garage. E begin talk. I never hear dat kind sweet mouth before. E promise everybody milk and honey, better road, free school, from primary to university, free clothe, free water, free wife, free husband, free food, free motor. In short, free everyting.

Jimoh say di only way wey dis free and better life go take come na if everybody vote for am make e enter as oga patapata of Lagos for 2023.

Na dat time I come know wetin Jimoh dey do since. When e finish im campaign, I call am ask wetin make am tink say e fit be governor. Jimoh say dis one no be book matter, say na wetin person fit do.

E say for age, e pass di 35 year wey gofmen fix. For character, e say e be number one. I tell am say make e stop im sermon. Weda e don forgot say me am im na paddy paddy. We sabi oursef.

I come ask am how e go take get back all di money wey e don spend for dis campaign. Jimoh say make I siddon dia. E say if I see am one week after e don become gomina Eko, I no go know am again.

Na dat time I come pity di people wey go vote for am for 2023. Na im be say if Jimoh enter Alausa, all di school pikin dem wey be woman go carry belle. Both sisi and housewife dem don enter troublem be dat. And na im be say, our Lagos bank account go jus begin leak like basket.

But di ting wey Jimoh no know be say, before person enter Alausa, e must to join party, do Primary, and after dat, di main di main election dey one corner dey wait.

But Jimoh tell me say make I siddon dey look how im go take do am. E say wetin be party and Primary.

I dey wait make I see di kind abracadabra wey Jimoh wan use takeover from oga patapata for Alausa wey don talk am already say e don get second term sef before 2023.

Make we jam again next week Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.