Na now I believe all di ting wey our papa dem talk tele tele before dem peme.

I remember dat time wen we small for our village for Ogbomoso. Wen anybody hide do bad ting, my papa go say make dem no worry, say one day go be one day wey monkey go go market e no go come back.

And now, na so my wife Bose dey do anytime e suspect me with all dis Lagos sisi dem.

If I come back late, noting wey I go tell my wife make e believe. Weda I do overtime o, or I get flat tyre o, or my guonguoro engine knock o, or na Go-slow catch me for road-o, all dat one no concern Bose. Wen e don talk bla, bla, bla finish, di ting wey e go take end am be say “everyday na for thief and one day for di owner”. Na only Bose know who be thief and who be owner, and im ting wey dem dey thief every time.

Na so I come back di order day, Bose begin hala sote our nebor dem come out.

I take style go inside bedroom. Bose come hold me for my shokoto trouser. E say I must tell am wetin I do for outside wey make me come house by 12 O’clock am in di midnight.

E say wen I don go do ishekushe finish with all dose Lagos ashi dem, I go carry my useless body come meet am for house. E say weda I wan take COVID-19 finish am? Like say Covid and AIDS na di same mama born dem.

Bose no let me talk. Our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – beg dia mama tire make e lef my shokoto trouser, na lie.

Afraid come catch me sef weda dis Ondo woman don run mental. You no go believe say na so Bose hold me for my shokoto trouser dey talk till 2 O’clock a.m. in di morning wen sleep catch am.

Before den, Bisi and Funke don tire to beg dia mama. Na as dem hold dia mama dey beg am, na im sleep jus carry di two both of dem. Me sef wey don tire, as Bose sleep, na im I close my eye, begin sleep but my wife hand still dey for my shokoto trouser and na so Bisi and Funke hand still dey hold dia mama for wrapper.

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Wednesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.