Make una fear all dis small body people. E never enter my mind one day say Idowu, our union treasurer for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, fit get dat kind bad mind for me.

Atlist, I remember last month wen dis small nyansh bobo give one sisi like dat belle. Di girl dey sell pure water for Idumota, and I no know as Idowu take meet am, nack am, den score di kind goal wey Ghana take snatch World Cup entry for Naija hand dis week.

Di sisi jus trowey twins (two woman pikin dem) for ground for Idowu.

Idowu no know wetin e go do. E go rent one face-me-I-face-you room for di sisi for Alimoso area. Idowu no let im wife for house sabi wetin shele o.

And di ting be say, Idowu wife don already born 3 twins for am tele tele – all woman pikin. So e come be say, Idowu is now bless with 8 woman pikin dem.

I know how much money Idowu borrow for my hand dat time. Up till now wey I dey nack una dis tori so, Idowu never return my money.

And I no wan waste my saliva ask am becos I know say Idowu and distress bank na di same ten and ten pence.

But Monday dis week, Idowu buy ewa for Iyabode hand for garage. Una kukuma know say me I don stop to dey chop for outside. Any food wey no be my wife Bose cook, no be my portion again. I no wan enter wahala for Lagos sisi dem hand at all.

Dat Monday, I take style take jus one small meat out of di 5 meat wey Idowu buy. Before my hand even escort di small meat reach my mouth, Idowu jus grab me for neck. E begin shout say make I vomit im meat. E say me I dey do aroro, dat I no wan spend my money buy food chop, na im make I talk say I no dey chop di food wey anoder woman cook. E say what kind yeye wife I marry sef wey I no go let person hear word. Like play play, di ting don turn to fight o. Tori Olorun!

Di small meat sef commot for my mouth, land for ground. Na im Idowu begin take Ogun and Sango name swear for my head. E say e go show me pepper for im money wey I waste so.

See me, see troublem o! One pelenge N50 meat?

I talk am for my mind say, na so people dey take forgot better ting wey order people do for dem? Idowu surprise me gan.

Small time, people come full garage, dey ask wetin happen. Shame come catch me. I give am N50.00 for im meat, e no gree take. E just wan make wahala with me. And no be say we quarrel before o. I know say if I wan carry my guonguoro commot dat time, Idowu go block me.

As everybody begin hold am, I see one Okada wan wey wan pass, I stop am and jump enter am. I tell di okada man make e take off quick quick.

My broda, we no reach dat Ikeja roundabout wen I hear ppuuaarhh! Di only ting I fit remember be say, I see 7 star appear for my eye.

Na yesterday I wake up for Ikeja General Hospital to hear say, as I dey rush to go report Idowu for Area F, one Aboki run cross road dey follow im broda, and di okada wey carry me jus carry am.

Di ting carry me wey siddon for back, fly up, turn me 7 time, den land me for dat pavement ppossaarrhh! Na Eledumare helep me my head no scatter.

I know say na Idowu hand work be dat. Di bobo no dey take juju play. But I know say Eledumare pass am.

Helep me say A-M-I-N!

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.