My broda, desperado plenty for dis our obodo contry no be small. E be like say some sisi dem, especially di ones for Lagos, jus dey lay ambush for one corner dey wait any bobo wey don make small coins, or wey tings don better for am small.

See me o, jus becos Asiwaju win election for Abuja today, come see as Lagos sisi dem come full our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. Tori Olorun!

I go drop one passenger like dat for Ikoyi dis morning. As I dey come back, I carry like two different drop for road. Eledumare do well say di last passenger say na Ikeja Council office e dey go. Una kukuma sabi say di council office near our garage well well.

I drop dat passenger for council around 12 o’clock pm in di afternoon, begin dey go garage to rest small.

Before I drive cross under bridge, enter di park, Idowu, our Union Treasurer meet me for road. E say make I no enter garage, say sisi dem full everywia dey wait for me.

I tell Idowu make e comot for road make I pass. I tink say na one of dose yeye joke, after all na June we dey, no be April 1 wey be April Fool.

My broda, as I jus enter garage, march break fiaam, na so four sisi dem like dat rush me. Olorun Oba o!

One of dem wear one kind wicked mini skirt like dat. E remain small make di second sisi no wear anyting for top at all, at all.

Di sisi allow im paw paw to dey dance Shaku Shaku for im chest. And di ting stand paparapa like Standard Bank. If you look di paw paw, e go be like say e wan enter your eye.

My broda, make I talk true and shame di devil, when I look di ting ti ti ti, I swallow one kind heavy saliva like dat.

My temperature jus rise fiaam. But sha, I take style control my body make I no come enter troublem.

Di order two sisi no jus carry better for chest. Front view na zero, side view nko? Dat one na yawa. Di boys quarter sef no enter chart.

All of dem come talk say, so na me be Oga MAT? I say by di grace of God. Dem say na somebody tell dem say me and Asiwaju na di same mama born us, say di two both of us resemble well well e be like say we be twins. Dem say na im make dem find me come.

I ask dem which Asiwaju. Dem say which Asiwaju ke, say na only one Asiwaju dey for di hole world nau. Di Asiwaju wey jus win Presido election for Abuja today.

Dem say me and Asiwaju resemble well well and we fine no be small. But dat na Baba Iyabo fine pass di two both of us.

I say tank you. Di next ting wey dem tell me na congrats. I say congrats for what? Dem say as my twin broda Asiwaju go carry me go do im Chief Driver wen e enter Aso Rock.

Na dat time I come know dia mission. Dem be slay queen.

I come tell dem say make dem coolu temper, say wen I enter Aso Rock with Asiwaju, I no go forgot dem. Na so I take style discharge dem o.

ut one of dem come gum me for body like aradite. E no gree go. Di sisi ready to work with me as my PA troughout till I go Aso Rock.

And e come be say na one of di yawa ones. Chaaaiii! I come talk am for my mind say wetin I wan take dis one do?

Na so I tell am make e wait for me, say I wan rush go buy petrol for Conoil for Ikeja roundabout put for my guonguoro. I buy can Malt for am, take pin am down.

Since dat time till now wey I dey back una dis tori so, I no near garage again.

I hear say na so so sisi dem full for dia, to congra . . . cong . . . cong . . . Abeg make I no come bite my tongue.

I come talk am for my mind say how I take resemble Asiwaju for fine?

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.