E be like say my lucky don dey shine small, small. Dat vision wey my wife, Bose pastor see for me for dat cross over night for dia church don dey show face.

Yesterday we get seminar for Alausa. Dem bring all our taxi driver union executive for all di branch for Lagos togeder for gofment secretariat for Alausa.

We, for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge decide say make we use one car go di seminar.

Everybody say make we use my guonguoro, but me? I no gree ra-ra-ra-ra. How I go come dey do taxi driver again for my union member dem?

Wen we don argue tire, we come gree say make we use Jimoh taxi, after all na im be our branch chairman.

All of us select im best clothe wear. Jimoh wear agbada, Idowu wear French suit, Akpan wear trouser and one long top like dat, with south south hat to match. Emeka wear im Igbo native clothe with red cap, e even hold elephant tusk for hand like Igwe.

My own, hmm… I go down, down my box for house, go bring out di suit and one long tie like dat. Na as I dress di day wey I marry Bose I jus appear.

If you see my shoe, tori olorun, you go comot for road make I no take am kick you. Na so di mouth of my shoe point straight to heaven. And I shine am well well dat morning. If you see me, noting go make you no believe say I be presidential candidate. I swear!

Idowu siddon for front with Jimoh wey drive. Emeka dey for left back seat, Akpan occupy center back while me I cool for owner corner. Atlist make anoder person drive me today, no be everyday I go dey drive order people. Abi?

Wen we reach Alausa, di hall don full. Come see everybody dress, if dem tell you say na taxi driver dem be, you no go ever believe.

Dem first register us and give us pen and writing book, den come give us tea with meat pie dat morning. Sweet dey for everybody table, lick am as you like. Me I no touch am, na who dem wan take jedi jedi kill? I jump and pass!

Di first gofment official come welcome us. After dat, one oga from Road Safety come teach us traffic signs like say we no sabi am tele tele. Me wey don dey do taxi driver work for Lagos before di person sef born. Well sha, I jus siddon dey listen. Wetin be my own?

Na so orisirisi official dem come teach us orisirisi tings – LASTMA, Olopa, VIO (dose wintch people), Yellow Fever, Maja Maja, etc, etc.

By dis time, 12 O’clock pm in di afternoon don nack. Dem say make we go for lunch break. Dem carry us go for anoder hall like dat. Come see as dem line up orisirisi food for table. And na serve yoursef. Eledumare!

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.