Una kukuma know say I don dey do dis my taxi driver work for Lagos since I run comot for my village come Lagos.

Na for dis Lagos I learn mecho work, before I come manage buy dis my guonguoro as brand new second hand tokunbo car for oyibo hand. E remain small make di oyibo sef dash me di car. Na chechere money I pay as di oyibo wan go back to im contry dat time. Na so I take be taxi driver for Lagos o.

Na for dis Lagos I marry my wife Bose, den come born our two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke.

My papa and mama don peme for village before I run come Lagos becos of Arike papa. Di wicked man been wan take African Insurance finish me, e say na me give im pikin belle.

See me see troublem o! Shey to siddon togeder with somebody for classroom make only body touch body fit give di person belle?

And since wen I run come lagos, my leg no touch village again, even dough I hear say dat wicked Arike papa don peme tipe tipe.

Any way sha, why I dey talk all dis ting be say, one passenger wey I carry yesterday for drop go Ebute Metta say e don reach di time wey I suppose to retire. Di madam say e don sabi me with dis my guonguoro tey tey. E tell me say before e retire for gofmen work 10 years ago, e dey see me every day for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge wen e been dey go work for Alausa.

Di madam say e for good make I retire and go back to my village go relax. Shiioor!

I tell di madam say I don hear. Abi wetin again I for talk? Shey make I begin argue with my passenger wey wan pay me money?

Na wen I drop di madam for Alagomeji for Ebute Meta dey come back, na im I come dey talk for my mind say dat madam no like me rarara. Wetin go make am give me dat kind advice? E know wia I come from?

I sure say if dat madam know wia I come from, e no for tell me to resign go back to my village.

Na every day dem dey talk am for news say bad people don take over all di bush wey dey for my state. Weda na unknown gunmen or gunknown unmen, weda na terrorists, bandits or kidnappers, weda na Fulani herdsmen abi Boko Haram dem dey call dem, wetin I know be say all of dem na di same ten and ten pence. Na di same mama born dem.

If I retire and go back to my village and dis people kidnap me, na who go pay ransom for my head? If dem kill me nko? Who go come take care of my wife and pikin dem?

Abeg make dis bad wind blow pass before anybody mention my village for my ear.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda's Blog.