I no know wetin passenger dem dey tink sef. Weda dem tink say we taxi driver dem na deaf.

Even sef, to say I get as I go take block my ear make I no dey hear all di orisirisi ting wey passenger dem dey talk, I for like am.

If you carry some housewife and dia friend dem, di kind tings wey dem dey vomit for dia mouth, you go pity dia husband.

You fit vex run go drive your wife comot for house, tinking say your wife sef fit dey follow do all dat kind bad, bad, bad, tings.

School pikin dem nko? Na dia own bad pass sef. If you make mistake carry all dis small small sisi dem with dia boyfriend, opari! If you no take time, you go jus drive go jam electric pole or trailer becos if you take style look for mirror see wetin dem dey do for back seat, hmm, your kini go nearly jump comot for your shokoto trouser, come tanda outside like Standard Bank.

Di order day dem do one exam like dat, abi na mock, MU someting or JAMB dem call am. Make we jus call am JAMB sha. Dat day I hear nwi. If you tink say all dis small sisi and bobo dem no get money, na lie you dey talk. Na dem dey take taxi for drop and charter pass.

Some of dem go siddon for house till time go finish. Na dat time you go see dem begin rush like Russian dey go dia exam centre. And dem ready to pay any amount for drop.

Some of dem go even tell you make you carry dem go, wait for dem till dem finish di exam, den carry dem come back to dia house.

Which one be my own? No be money I come find for Lagos?

And if na bobo, e must to carry like 3 sisi wey follow take exam.

My broda, to cut di short tori long, na so I carry two sisi and two bobo like dat day wey dem take di JAMB. Come hear di kind tings wey comot for dis pikin dem mouth. I no know weda dem tink say I be deaf and dumb. Dem dey talk as dem take smuggle expo enter exam hall.

One sisi say e put im own for wig wey e carry for head. Di order one say e put im own for dross. Di bobo wey charter me gan gan say im own dey for inside im shoe.

Di one wey make me laugh na di second bobo wey talk say, as e wan comot im own expo wey e put for inside im yansh, di examiner nearly catch am. But e tank God say di kind hot mess wey comot with di expo make di examiner run go outside. Tori Olorun!

So di ting come be blessing as everybody see chance bring out all dia expo.

Di bobo say e no wan dull at all, as dis one na four years now wey e don dey take JAMB but JAMB dey always jam am. E say dis year o, na im go jam JAMB, weda or wedan’t JAMB like am.

Wen I drop dis bobo and sisi dem for Dopemu and come back to our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, I laugh sote our union member dem begin tink weda I don kolo.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.