To say I quench for road dat dey nko? Na who go put eye for my wife Bose and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke?

Bose Papa don peme since wen Bose be 3 year old. Na only im Mama dey for dia village for Ondo.

Bose dey take im Papa broda do like papa now. Plenty people no know say no be di man born am. E be like say wen Bose Papa peme, im broda kukuma take Bose Mama join im order 4 wife dem. I no know weda na marry e marry am o. But even if e take my mother-in-law do wife, which one be my own inside? After all, im broda property, na im property. Abi no be so?

But as di man wey get only one eye wan take im own wahala me, na im I no gree. See as e make me tink sote I nearly go die for road inside my guonguoro.

As Bose come back after e don go see im mama for village with my two pikin dem, e bring plenty chop chop come – garri Ijebu, ewedu, coconut, paw paw, cassava, plantain, banana, elubo, pepper, salt, etc etc.

In fact, e remain small make my wife Mama carry di whole farm for village give im pikin make e bring come Lagos. I happy no be small. At list I know say for anoder one week or so, Bose no go wahala me to drop someting for food before I enter road.

I come talk am for my mind say Mama na Mama, no matter wetin. How much money I give Bose make e give im Mama sef di time wey dem travel? So na dat small money wey no reach to take buy one derica of rice (since dem don close border), make dis old woman happy like dat? Di ting surprise me gan.

But someting come spoil my mind dat night wey my family come back.

As Bose don off load everyting finish, Funke come ask am weda e don give me di letter wey dia uncle for village send for me. Bose been don forgot. Na im e go open bag, bring di letter give me. Wen I read di letter finish, my mind come spoil patapata.

I jus stand dia like Standard Bank. Small time my body begin shake like Shakespeare and na so I come dey look for one direction like say I drink one drum of Lukozade. Everybody shock.

Dem begin ask me wetin dey inside di letter wey give me electric shock. I no talk. Na wen Bose ask me, I come begin hala for im head.

I say which kind wayo e wan play me wen e don go plan with im one- eye Papa broda for village to write rubbish letter for me? If no be as Bose run comot for di room wen e see say my eye don red, hmm, di kind blow wey I for give am for pass di one wey Osinachi get from im husband before e peme.

See Bose wey I go im village go do everyting for im head wen e carry Bisi belle o!

Even dough we jam for Lagos Owambe party, I marry Bose as our grand grand Papa dem dey take marry woman for our village for Ogbomoso even before dem born me.

E pain me say Bose real Papa don peme before I marry im pikin. All di ting wey I give for Papa head wen I marry Bose, na dat yeye quarter-to-blind man collect am.

Now, jus becos e don start one kind yeye church like dat for im village after e don witch people tire, e come write say I never marry my wife finish. E say di only marry wey im God approve na white marry for church.

I come talk am for my mind say shey na by force to marry for church? I be oyibo? Which day I don carry my leg enter church before?

Di ting wey I know be say, Bose na my wife and di mother of my two fine pikin dem. But if dat im yeye Papa broda wan do too much, I go say make dem come carry dia pikin.

After dis Easter holiday, I go beg Oga Sunny Okim make e helep me put advert for The Frontier say vacancy dey for wife.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

•Credit: Matilda’s Blog.