My people, make una helep me look dis Sikiratu Xmas shopping list weda e no pass list to take marry Omo Igbo.

I still dey talk am say, Sikiratu madam, Madam Shine hand dey for dis list. I sure say Sikiratu no go get di mind to send me dis kind ogbonge list.

I sabi Sikiratu tipe tipe. Na di first sisi for Lagos wey me and im dey gel well well.

Even dough e dey work for Madam Shine buka, wey dey near Ikeja Airport Hotel, Sikiratu like me, and me sef like am gan, as I be agbalagba so.

In fact, if anyting dey wey pass to like, na im be my condition with Sikiratu. Na im make I dey call am Siki Babe, and im sef dey call me My Oga MAT.

And I know say, una no go ever believe say as me and Sikiratu close reach, we never do. If I lie, make I baf naked for bafroom.

Di only time wey we nearly wan do, na for dream, but my wife Bose wake me up. Tori Olorun! Na im make I dey tink sometime weda Bose get wintch for body.

Sikiratu wey I sabi, na better babe, if me and im go out, e go say make e pay for everyting, plus including short time room (Ah! My mouth shut up!!)

Na im make e surprise me say Sikiratu send me dis kind list.

See di list:

1. Ready made Italian gown

2. Italian shoe (Black and Red) - low hill

3. Italian shoe (White and Blue) - High heels

4. Brazilian hair

5. Peruvian hair

6. Swiss watch (Gold)

7. Swiss watch (Silver)

8. Gold necklace 16 carat

9. Chinese leather handbag (Red)

10. Chinese leather handbag (Blue)

11. Chinese leather handbag (Black)

12. Gold earrings

13. G-string pant (Pink colour)

14. G-string pants (Purple)

15. St. Remmy’s

16. Malt drinks (2 crates)

17. Big Stout (2 cartons)

18. Uncle Ben’s Rice (1 bag)

19. Live Turkey – 1

20. Live fowl – 3

21. King’s cooking oil – 1 gallon

22. Condiments (Assorted)

As I jus read number 22, na im Sikiratu waka enter our garrage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Na so e jump for my body and say “Happy Xmas and a Merry New Year!!!” I answer am “Me too”.

I tell Sikiratu say na di list wey e send to me I jus dey look so.

Sikiratu ask me “List? Which list?”

I tell am say di Xmas shopping list wey e send to my torch light chinko phone yesterday.

Sikiratu say “Me, send Xmas shopping list to you yesterday?”

Sikiratu shock no be small. E say e never see im phone since last week.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.