Wen I get mysef back and look di sms well well, I come see say, na true say na list for Xmas shopping Sikiratu send to me.

My broda, if you see di list, e long like from our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, go reach Alausa. Na im make I nearly faint wen I first see di list. Tori Olorun!

Noting wey no dey for dat list. E come be like di list wey dem give my friend Usman wen e wan go marry one Omo Igbo for Owerri after Biafra war. No be person tell Usman to run 440. Ah, ah! Kilode?

I come dey suspect weda na Sikiratu gan gan siddon write dis long list, abi na im madam, Madam Shine, helep am add all dose tings becos dem wan use razor blade take cut my shokoto trouser pocket.

But di ting be say, even if Oga Osibande, sorry Osinbajo, dash me Tradermoney, e no reach to buy everyting wey dey dat list.

Even if I sell my guonguoro, di money sef no fit reach to clear dat list. Olorun Oba o!

I come talk am for my mind say, shey no be dis same Naija Sikiratu dey? Abi im don forgot say Coro no let person show face for plenty month?

And wen oga patapata come carry lockdown comot, na im Coro junior broda wey be #EndSARS take over.

Sikiratu know well well say di two both of dem - Coro and #EndSARS - show everybody nwi dis year 2020. So, wia e wan make I see money take buy am everyting wey dey for dat im list?

Make I kukuma open my torch light chinko phone and bring out Sikiratu text message, make una follow me see dis ogbonge list. If you see di first 10 item for di list, afraid must to catch you. I swear!

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.