No be only afraid catch me, I shock reach bone as my wife Bose tell me dat kind ting dat early morning.

My wife wey I sabi well well say jealousy na im baptism name.

My wife wey be say, any day e make mistake enter my guonguoro, I must not look any sisi as we dey go for road, I must look straight till we reach wia we dey go.

My wife wey don make law say no woman visitor - weda from our two pikin dem o, from my side o, even from im own side o - must come to our house wey we dey live for Abule Egba.

My wife wey be say, any day e drag me make I follow am go dat dia church wey dey for Pen Cinema, e go make sure say di two both of us siddon for di place wey no sisi siddon for our front, make I no take style dey look di sisi boysquarter.

And na dis same my wife tell me dat early morning say e wan marry new wife for me o. Tell me, how afraid no go catch me? If na you nko?

I no even sabi say my mouth remain open since wen Bose tell me dat ting until e use im own hand close my mouth back for me. Na wa o!

But make I talk true, for inside me, I like di idea gan. My belle sweet no be small.

I come tink as I go dey sleep for bed with one tear rubber sisi wey everyting for im body still stand paparapa like Standard Bank.

I come tink as one soft hand like dat go dey scratch my back before I sleep for night.

I come tink how baby pikin go begin cry for my house again even as I don dagba so.

I come tink how one sisi go dey kneel down serve me food and even hold water for basin make I wash my hand before I chop.

I come tink of di main di main ting wey go dey shele for bed every morning before I go to our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, and every night wen I come back, no be one iyarugbo wey be say if I wan touch am small, e go begin complain - if head no pain am, na nose. If one leg no pain am, e go be waist. Tori Olorun!

Dat's why dis Bose proposal come be like sweet dream for me. Olorun Oba o!

But if I make my wife sabi say dis ting wey e tell me so sweet me, na wahala be dat. And I no wan make e change im mind ra-ra-ra.

I come tell Bose say dis ting wey e dey tell me dis early morning so, I no jus understand. I ask am weda e don forget say I still love am gidigidi as my wife and mother of my two woman pikin - Bisi and Funke.

I tell am say I happy as we dey so, I no wan anyting wey go bring wahala come scatter our family.

Bose come tell me say make I no worry, say na im go still be Iya'le, and e go make sure say no wahala.

I say okay o, if na so e want am, "Your wish is my commander" (abi how dem dey talk am?)

I tell am say I go begin tink of di village wey I go go bring good sisi come give am (Bose) make e marry for me.

Bose come talk say make I no also worry about dat one, say sebi na im wan marry new wife for me so na im go choose di wife, no be me.

And wen e marry am for me finish, Bose say na im go dey select di night wey di new wife go dey sleep for my bed and di day wey e go cook my food.

To cut di long tori short, my wife talk say di new wife go dey report to am and take all instruction from am. Olorunmaje!

Na dat time I tell Bose say make e lef me as I dey so. I tell am say everyting concerning new wife is hereby cancel with immediate effect and alacrity!

I stand up for bed and begin prepare to enter road with my guonguoro dat morning.

Which kind monitoring spirit be dat?

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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