Notin wey person no go see for dis Koro time. I tink say na only for Lagos road wey I dey drive every day before Koro come, na im orisirisi dey happen. But di kind tings wey I dey see since oga patapata talk say make we siddon for house by force, na wa.

As e be say e don tay since I warm my guonguoro wey I park for one corner for our compound for Abule Egba, yesterday I say make I find small money go buy small petrol take warm am, at list make di battery no peme.

Dat yesterday evening wen sun don come down small, I tell my two woman pikin – Bisi and Funke – make dem go wash my guonguoro.

Dat my busybody second pikin, Funke wey resemble im mama, ask me wia I wan go wey make me tell dem to wash di guonguoro. I do like say I know hear am.

Na im Funke come near me, e say “Daddy, I’m asking you, where do you want to go that makes you ask me and Bisi to wash the car? Remember there is lockdown and movement is not allowed. Mummy, daddy wants to go out o!”

I still no mind am.

Small time, my wife Bose come meet me for outside. E no even ask me anyting. E say:

“Baba Bisi, if you go out na me and you today. In short, you no go see dat your guonguoro key. I don seize am. Which kind work you wan go do wen nobody dey for road for dis Coro time? Shey na ghost you wan go dey carry for road?

“Talk say you wan begin go find all dose your small small ashewo girl dem wey dey sell ogogoro for dat una garage. But I no go gree today. I no go allow you go carry Coro come kill all of us for dis house. Over my dead body!”

My first pikin bBisi come talk say:

“But mummy did daddy say he was going out? He only asked me and Funke to wash the taxi which has been parked for days now. Mummy, you should not be swallowing everything Funke tells you hook, line and sinker.”

Di next ting be say, Bose jus give Bisi one dirty slap for face ppoossaahh! Bose say:

“Stupid girl, na me you dey curse? Every time you go dey support your papa for bad ting. Shey you no hear say Coro dey for town? And you wan make e go carry am come kill us for dis house?”

I hold my pikin Bisi as e dey cry. I take water wash im face. I tell am make e no cry again. I say make im and im sister no wash di car again.”

Na im I go carry water and soap, wash my guonguoro and dry am well well. I go carry jerry can and go petrol station, buy small petrol wey my money fit carry, and come back house.

As I come, I enter room straight, open my iron box, bring out my spare key, go outside, open my guonguoro door, and begin warm di engine.

Bose run come meet me as I dey warm di engine. E say make I come see someting. I ask am wetin happen.

My wife say as I jus carry jerry can comot, na im e see Funke and our landlord pikin, Braimoh for backyard. As di two both of dem see am, dem come dey do like say dem dey do class work. E say Funke tell am say Braimoh dey teach am Biology.

I ask Bose wetin e come do as e catch dem, e say e no do anyting. E say na im make e run come tell me.

I tell am you see? Bisi wey no do anyting, you slap am. Now Funke wey dey do isekuse with Braimoh for backyard, you no fit do am anyting.

I ask am how Braimoh wey im only work na to smoke igbo and drink ogogoro for di hole of Abule Egba, go fit teach Funke wey dey go school, anyting if no be isekuse?

I tell Bose say make e lef me make I dey warm my guonguoro.

E ask me weda I no wan comot again. I say comot go wia? Shey na bad ting to warm di guonguoro make di battery no peme?

I tell am make e go meet im pikin Funke make Braimoh kukuma join di two both of dem teach Biology for backyard.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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