I don dey talk am tele tele say, uniform na clothe, na tailor dey sew am. Na so Abami Eda talk, and I believe am.

Since wen gofmen say make everybody siddon for house, na im we taxi driver don rest for all dis uniform people hand – Soja, Olopa, Road Safety, VIO, LASTMA, Council, Yellow Fever, Maja Maja, Custom, even ordinary Man o’ War sef.

Uniform plenty for road sote you no go even know which is which. And wen dem stop you, all dia eye dey for one ting – your particulars.

If you bring out motor particulars, you dey on your own (O.Y.O) be dat. You must roja dem ‘pocket particulars’ or else na for dia you go sleep, or dem carry you go station.

But since gofmen lock up (abi na lockdown) everybody for house, dem no see roja collect again. So, any taxi driver dem catch for road dis time, im own don finish be dat.

Yesterday my oga wey dey helep me carry my sweet, sweet tori for inside newspaper make una read and enjoy, Oga Sunny Okim, call me for phone. E say make I come carry am for im house.

I ask Oga Sunny Okim how I go manage drive reach im house for Ajao Estate, all di way from Abule Egba wey I dey live. E say make I jus dey drive dey come, if anybody stop me, make I tell di person say I dey on official duty, and if di person no gree, make I call am make e talk with di person for phone.

Na so I begin drive dey go meet Oga Sunny Okim for im house, and tank God say nobody stop me for road.

Oga Sunny Okim say make I drive am go everywia for Lagos, say e dey on duty, e wan monitor how di siddon-for-house order dey work for Lagos so dat e go write am for newspaper.

Na so we enter Oshodi/Apapa Expressway. As we jus wan pass Ilasamaja, na im olopa dem stop us. Na so one of dem shout, “Stop there! If you move I shoot!!”

All di 5 olopa wey dey dia cock dia gun like say dem don catch amu robber.

I match break fiiaamm. Dem order me and Oga Sunny Okim make we put our hand for our head and come down.

Quick quick, I put my hand for head, but Oga Sunny Okim say make I put my hand down. I come talk am for my mind say my own don finish today. If I peme for road today, wetin I go talk?

Oga Sunny Okim open di back door of my guonguoro and come down. Olopa dem shout say, “If you come close, I fire you!” Olorun Oba o!

Na im Oga Sunny Okim tell dem say we dey on duty. Dem ask am which kind yeye duty be dat wey we no fit siddon for our house as gofmen talk.

Na so one olopa give Oga Sunny Okim one dirty slap for face ppooorrrhh! Dem take di nyansh of dia gun hit me for head tuuaarrhh! Five star jus show for my eye nwaaiin! I tink say I don run mental. Tori Olorun!

Small time, we jus hear as siren dey blow dey come. All my mind be say my own don finish today.

Di motor wey wan pass reach like 10 for line. Wen dem see as olopa dem dey punish us, dem stop.

One soja open car door for one man. As di man come down, all di olopa and soja dem salute am, dem dey hail am, “Your Excellency! Your Excellency!!”

Na as I lie for ground look di man face well well, I come see say na Oga Sanwo-Olu, Oga patapata for Lagos.

As Oga Sanwo-Olu see Oga Sunny Okim, na im e shout, “Mr Sunny Okim, what is the matter?”

Wen Oga Sunny Okim don tell His Excellency everything wey happen finish, His Excellency come beg me and Oga Sunny Okim well well. E order all di olopa and soja dem wey follow am make dem begin give di 5 olopa wey stop us 50 koboko each as dem lie down flat for dat Oshodi/Apapa Expressway.

Come see as di 5 olopa dey cry like baby wey dem jus born.

Oga Sanwo-Olu order make dem handcuff di five both of dem, pack dem inside dia van and take dem to guardroom.

Na so His Excellency tell im PA make e bring two fat envelop like dat, give one to Oga Sunny Okim and give me one. E say make we take di money go treat oursef for hospital.

As Oga Sanwo-Olu and im team begin blow dia siren dey go with dose 5 thief olopa, I come see say na 100k dey inside my envelop.

Na so I kneel down begin dey tank Oga Sunny Okim. I tell am say any time and any day, I dey at im service.

Na so we enter my guonguoro and move, to continue with our press work. Awon ole!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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