As Lagos be now, I no come know weda or wedan’t make I pack dis my guonguoro, go find anoder work do till dis conora wahala go.

Me wey dey carry orisirisi passenger upandan for Lagos, how I go take know which passenger carry conora and which one no carry? I be wintch?

Since di day dem talk say conora don enter Lagos, afraid catch me, no be small.

I don go charter face cover and water soap keep inside my guonguoro.

Every morning, afternoon and evening, I must wash my hand with di water soap, den cover my nose anytime I carry passenger.

But di ting be say, Lagos passenger dem dey very stubborn. Give dem water soap to wash dia hand, and face cover to cover dia nose before dem enter my guonguoro, na lie! Dem no go gree. And I no fit byforce dem.

If you wan begin do gragra, dem go find anoder taxi enter. And me I no wan lose any passenger dis dry time wey money no dey pocket.

But yesterday na one kind ting like dat come happen.

One oyibo come our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Di oyibo say e wan take drop go Banana Island. E first go meet Jimoh our union chairman, Jimoh dodge am. E go meet Akpan, di same ting. Di oyibo go meet Emeka and Idowu, di two both of dem no wan carry am. I come talk am for my mind say, why all dis our union member dey treat dis oyibo like dis.

As di oyibo come meet me, I tell am my price, e gree. E open front door and enter. Me sef enter my driver seat. We don begin go Banana Island be dat.

I take Obafemi Awolowo Way, link Allen Junction, den begin face Alausa secretariat to join Seven Up, from dia to Oworonshoki.

We never even pass Alausa wen dis oyibo begin cough and sneeze like cat wey swallow rat bone.

I tell am sorry, di oyibo no fit talk. E use hand signal me tank you.

Dis oyibo cough till we reach seven up. Na im I clear comot for road, and park. I bring out one face cover give am make e use am cover im extra long nose, di oyibo no gree collect. E jus dey tell me, “I”m fine. I’m fine!”

Which kind fine be dat wen e dey cough ti-ti-ti-ti?

I come dey tell am “pele” one million time.

I ask am weda e go still fit go di Banana Island, abi make I carry go back to Ikeja. E say e go still manage go Banana Island.

I ask di oyibo which contry e come from. E say Italy. I no know wen I shout, “Italy?”

I ask am im name, instead make e tell me im name, e begin cough and sneeze ti-ti-ti again. Tori Olorun!

I remember say, dem talk say na one oyibo like dat from Italy bring dis conora wahala come Lagos.

But dem say di oyibo no get name, and e no get village sef wey e come from for Italy. Abi na dat oyibo be dis? Tori Olorun!

Na dat time afraid catch me well well.

Quick, quick, I turn my guonguoro face Alausa again. Di oyibo ask me wetin happen. I ask am wetin im tink say dey happen. As a true Naija man, I use question to answer im question.

Before I reach dat traffic light for secretariat, I branch left. Na Oga Sanwo-Olu office be dat.

Na so I park and come down. I tell di security people wey dey dia say make dem come carry dia property comot for my guonguoro.

Di security people come tell di oyibo make e come down. Dem tink say na thief. As di oyibo come down, na so e begin cough and sneeze again ti-ti-ti-ti.

Come see as all di security people take cover!

I use dat oppotunity put my guonguonro for revise till I reach main road, and took off from dia.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Update news