Noting wey person eye no go hear for dis Lagos. And noting wey ear no go see.

Di woss be say, wen man don hustle and sweat finish Lagos road for day time, see all di orisirisi wey dey for road, you no go know say order ting dem dey wait for you for house.

Yesterday wen I wake up for morning to prepare and go our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, na im my wife Bose hold me, e no let me stand up for bed. I tink say na bend, bend sleep Bose wan make we do dat early morning. Na im I tell am say time don go, make e allow me go work, say we go do am any how e wan am wen I come back for night.

Bose tell me say no be di ting wey dey hungry am be dat. E say e get wetin e wan discus with me dat early morning before I enter road.

I tell Bose say oya, make e begin discus but make e cut am short becos time don go.

My wife say di ting wey e wan discus na food matter. E say di way we take dey chop rice for dis house too much, wen we sabi say dem don close border tipe tipe and rice no dey enter again.

Na im I tell am say sebi na Abakaliki rice e dey buy come cook now. Bose say if na Abakaliki rice nko? E say weda I know how much rice dey cost for market now. E say make I forgot dat ting wey dem dey talk for radio and television. E say no rice be small money for market now - weda na imported, Ofada abi Abakaliki. Rice na rice.

E say imported now na N26,000 for bag. Abakaliki or Ofada wey sand no plenty na N21,000. Di one wey sand plenty na N18,000. E say one Derica of any of di rice na N500. E say make I tell am weda no be di same ten and ten pence.

Bose come talk say, from today e no go buy rice again, say na only swallow we go dey swallow – like amala, fufu, garri and tuo shinkafa. Tori Olorun!

I come ask am what about all di money wey I dey give am for food every Saturday.

Na dat time my wife come spark! E say which kind question be dat, weda na dat chechere N1500 wey I dey give am for food for a hole week na money.

E say make I talk true weda dat money dey enough to feed di four of us wey dey house every week – im, me and our two woman pikin Bisi and Funke. Visitor dem no dey dia o.

Bose say sebi im don tell me tele tele say e wan work make e take dey support di family, but I no let am work.

Na im I tell am say I no jus wan hear anyting about dat im oyibo work again.

How I go dey alive and my wife go comot every night say e dey go work for wia dem dey call casino wey oyibo dem dey go play cha cha for hotel till day break? Shey casino work and ashewo work, no be di same mama born di two both of dem?

I tell Bose say na over my dead body e go do dat kind work.

Na im Bose say okay o, as I no allow am do di oyibo work, im wan begin do driver work like me. E say make I check am, all di business now na husband and wife dey do am – shop, market, school plus including church. E say every ting now na husband and wife business.

My wife come tell me say from tomorrow, we must begin do shift duty with dat my guonguoro. E say make I choose which one I like - day or night shift. E say but if I no gree make we run di business togeder, make I begin go find anoder motor or anoder business wey I go dey do.

Bose talk oyibo say, “Dis order is with immediate effect and automatic alacrity”. Olorun Oba o!

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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