Wen some passenger dem see my face, with all di akola mark, dem dey always tink say I don dagba finish sote I no get sense again. But I dey always laugh dem.

How can person wey don dey do taxi driver work for Lagos even before Biafra war show face, be mumu? E no possible!

Di orisirisi tings wey di son of man dey see for Lagos road every day, no book for dis world fit contain am.

Na im make, wen some passenger dem wan form over sabi, I go tell dem say dem never start.

No type of passenger wey I never carry before for dis my guonguoro – politricktian, gofment oga, business man and woman, market woman and man, school pikin dem, teacher, amu robber, gbomo gbomo, ashewo, yahoo boyz, yahoo plus, kidnapper, olopa, soja and all di orisirisi uniform people dem. Name dem!

See like di order day wen one bobo come meet me for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Di bobo say make I carry am for drop go Ejigbo. I tell am my price, e gree. Di bobo enter for passenger seat for front.

We no even comot for Ikeja, na im di bobo bring out one ting wey e use black nylon tie.

E say make I stop and helep am put am for my petrol tank.

I ask am how, e say wen I open di petrol tank, I go place di ting for di hole, den take tank cover hold am.

I ask am wetin di ting be, di bobo say na special market. Which kind market dem use nylon wrap like dis? Market wey no big pass apple!

I tell di bobo say if I carry passenger wey carry market, na for boot I dey put di market, no be for petrol tank.

Di bobo say, na im make e call im own special market. E say olopa no dey see im own market, dat’s why e wan hide am for di kind place olopa no go ever tink of to search.

Na dat time I come sabi di kind passenger I carry. Olorun Oba o!

I tell am say no wahala, but for dis my guonguoro o, any market – special or not, big or small – na for boot I dey keep am.

As I jus talk like dat, di bobo come shout for my head. E call me mumu. E say na im make mumu like me no go ever make am.

E say weda I no know say, if we carry dis special market reach wia e dey go, e go settle me with big money wey go even make me abandon dis my taxi driver work.

I ask am weda I don complain to am say I no like my taxi driver work.

Di bobo come spark! E say make I stop make e come down. E say im never see di kind mumu wey I be since wen im mama born am.

Quick, quick I match my break ffiiaamm. I tell am make e come down. As di bobo jus open door come down, hang im bag for im back and begin waka dey go, na im olopa jus block am.

Na dat time I sabi say olopa dem don dey drive follow us for back since wen di bobo enter my guonguoro for garage. Dem don dey monitor di drug baron teletele.

As olopa dem block am and begin search every wia for im body, na so me I begin go my way.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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