Di kind tings wey dey for man mind by dis time of di year plenty.

If you no tink of pikin school fees, you go tink of house rent. Food money nko? If your motor come get troublem, na im be say your mecho go use dat one settle all im wahala for dis new year.

And di woss ting be say, passenger no come dey dis time. I no know weda all dose people wey travel go dia village for odun no see money take come back, or dem don come back but no money to take enter taxi.

Since dis year show face, na so all of us for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge jus dey siddon from morning till night, dey look oursef like say we drink one drum of Lookozade. No passenger.

If you see one passenger carry, na im be say you go run go church or mosque or shrine (as di case may be), go do tanksgiving.

Na all dis ting I siddon tink for garage yesterday ti-ti-ti-ti, I tire...

Di next ting, one man waka enter garage come ask of Oga MAT. As di man body be, we no trust am.

All di muscle wey dey di man body stand like standard bank, and na so e come tall like Tolani. In short, e come be like say na di same mama wey born SSS na im born di man.

As di man ask of Oga MAT, nobody talk. Jimoh look me, I look Idowu. Emeka look Akpan, Akpan come look Jimoh. And di cycle continue. Di man sef confuse.

Na im di man bring out im ID card show us. As I jus see wetin dem write for di card, I come shout, "Na me be Oga MAT ooo!!!"

How I go hide wen be say na Dangote PA come find me so for our garage?

All our union member dem surprise, all of dem nearly change dia name to Oga MAT.

Na so Dangote PA say make I follow am reach Ikeja under bridge gan gan.

Wen we reach dia, e show me one clean chassis. Na tear rubber Avensus Jeep. E open di driver door and say make I enter.

As I enter siddon for driver seat, Dangote PA hand over di Jeep key to me.

E say, "My big boss - Alhaji Dangote - asked me to come and deliver this brand new Avensus Jeep to you as New Year present to you. Alhaji reads all your stories and the experiences you have everyday in the course of your duty as a Lagos taxi driver. He is very impressed with you. Alhaji said you should be the first person in the country to use a jeep as taxi. Congratulations, and please keep up the good work, Oga MAT."

E shake my hand. I no know wen I shout for joy, "P-r-a-i-s-e the Lord!!!"...

Idowu hit me for leg ppuuaarrhh!. E say, " Oga MAT, which day you begin go church? E better make you go meet iyalagbo make e mix serious agbo for you for dis your malaria wey you carry for body since last year. How you go siddon dey sleep and dream for garage every time?"

I open my eye and look around. Na im I come talk am for my mind say Olorun abeg, finish dis new year shocker for me. Helep me say Amin!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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