Dat double slap wey di Bride give di Groom for face carry weight no be small.

I come see star for my eye like say na me dem slap. Na dat kind slap dem dey call dirty slap, and e come be double slap Pposssaaarrrhhh! Pposssaaarrrhhh!! Tori Olorun!

Di Groom come dey shout, “Please help o! I cannot see again o! This woman has finished me o!”

Di Bride jus siddon like say noting happen. Di only ting e talk na, “I have always warned you not to let your dirty hands on me. If you really know how to slap, why don’t you go and face your fellow guys? Why do you enjoy slapping a lady at the slightest provocation? This is the very last time I am warning you.”

As I dey drive dey go, I use style dey look di two both of dem for back seat with my mirror. Which kind slap slap Bride and Groom I carry so?

Na marry dem dey go marry for Ikoyi Registry so o. Dem never marry yet na im dem dey slap per second per second, If dem come marry finish nko? Na im be say dia house go turn to war front.

Wen we land for Ikoyi Registry, I park well for one side of di compound. Di bride, with im wedding gown, open door of my guonguoro come down and waka enter di hall wey people don siddon dey wait for di husband and wife to be.

Di groom no gree come down. E still dey shout, “My eye o, my eye!”

I tell am say make e try come down go meet im wife wey don waka enter di registry.

Di groom say e good as dat witnch woman don carry imsef go inside. E say make e go wed imsef. E say for im o, di wedding don cancel.

Small time, people come out, come meet di groom for inside my guonguoro. Dem tell am say make e come down go join im wife for di wedding. Dem say di officer wey wan wed dem don dey wait for dem since morning.

Di groom say okay, make dem go back to di hall, say e dey come.

As di people go back, di groom ask me weda I get water for inside my guonguoro. Na im I carry di pure water wey I drink remain, give am.

Di groom go down, tanda for di back of my guonguoro, and wash im face with di pure water. Wen e don wash im face finish, I ask am weda e don feel better small. E say e don better, atlist e fit see well now.

Na im di groom begin rush enter di hall. Me I remain inside my guonguoro.

E no reach 20 minutes, wedding don finish, everybody dey sing and dance with di husband and wife. Na for outside di registry dem come dey take orisirisi photo, and na so di new couple dey smile, dey pose for di photo.

After all di photo, as I carry di husband and wife from dat Ikoyi Registry go for National Theater for Iganmu wey dem do reception, dis new couple fight like 5 times inside my guonguoro.

By di time dem finish for reception come enter my guonguoro again make I carry dem go back, night don dey come.

Dem say make I go drop dem for one hotel like dat for Somolu wey dem wan do honeymoon. From Iganmu to Somolu, dem fight like 3 times, sote di new wife hold di new husband tie and begin pull am for neck. Di new husband come dey do like say e wan peme for inside my guonguoro. Afraid come catch me, no be small.

As I jus drop dem for di hotel and dem pay me my money, come see as I drive comot and march my throttle like say person dey pursue me, dey go my house for Abule Egba.

I come talk am for my mind say dis kind December marry pass For Better For Worse. Dis one na For Better For Woes.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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