Na so so marry people don dey do since dis December month show face. E come be like say dem do meeting wey dem gree say na only dis month everybody go do wedding.

If you tanda for any road for Lagos for morning time, na so nearly all di motor you see go write for body “About to Wed”. If you go back in di evening, na “Just Wedded” you go see.

Di ting sef don reach my side. No day pass wey dem no go call me make I come carry people wey wan marry.

Last week, na for Mafoluku Oshodi. Di next day, na Lekki. On Saturday, na Badagry. Sunday nko? Na for dis our Ikeja here. And all of dem na for dis my guonguoro o.

By di time dem decorate my guonguoro finish, if you see am, you fit make mistake call am Hummer Jeep. I swear! If I lie, make I tanda naked baf for bafroom.

Among all of dem wey I don carry dis month, na di one I carry yesterday I hear nwi for dia hand.

Di night before, one bobo like dat call me say make I come carry am for charter go for wedding. Di bobo send me address, e say make I make sure say I reach im house for Maryland by 7 O’Clock a.m in di morning.

Wen I reach dia, people don full di compound. Na wen I see di bobo wey call me for night, na im I remember say na my passenger wey I don carry tele tele, and e been collect my phone number dat time. E come be say na di bobo be di groom.

Before I close my eye and open, I no come sabi my guonguoro again. Come see how dem take decorate di hole ting, in and out. Tori Olorun!

Di bobo come talk say na me go carry im and im bride go for di place dem wan go wed for Ikoyi. E say na im make e wan di two both of dem dey togeder for my guonguoro, and na me go still carry dem after di wedding. I say no troublem. I tell am my price, e gree.

E come reach time to begin go for di wedding, Groom don enter, Bride no show face. Di bobo come dey call im bride, di phone ring out 7 times.

Di bobo open di door of my guonguoro and come down. E push everybody wey tanda for im way and enter inside room. Na so di bobo go drag im bride come force am enter my guonguoro. People jus dey fold dia hand dey look di cinema. Wetin concern me? My own na to drive dem go Ikoyi Registry.

As we dey go, groom come dey hala im bride. E ask am wetin go make am delay like dat, wey make am no gree come enter motor make dem go wed. E come talk say e dey suspect say di bride no wan marry am again becos e fit don get boyfriend.

Di bride tell am say na make up dem been dey do for im face make e look fine for di wedding nah. Before di bride even talk finish, di groom land di bride one dirty slap for face ppossaaarrhh!

Di bride cover im eyes and shout. E say e no fit see again o. Di groom say why di bride go tell am dat nonsense. E ask di bride who im dey do di make up for, if no be say e don get boyfriend? Na so I hear anoder slap, ppossaaarrhh!

And di bride sef face di groom and give am double slap for face, ppossaaarrhh! Ppossaaarrhh!! Olorun Oba o!

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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