Anybody wey dey do taxi driver work for Lagos, if Eledumare no tanda for im back gidigba, na im be say im own get as e be.

Na from experience I take talk am so. Di kind orisirisi tings wey di son of man dey take im mouth see for Lagos road, im eye no fit talk am. If I lie, make I tanda naked baf for bafroom.

Di kind alaye boy dem wey full now for Lagos get as e be.

See like yesterday wey I go drop passenger for Isale Eko, den take IBB Bridge begin dey come back to mainland.

As I land for Oworonshoki bus stop, na im three bobo like dat say make I carry dem for charter go Bariga. Dem say wen we reach Bariga, I go wait for dem till dem do dia business finish, but dat e no go pass 10 minute. I tell dem my price, dem gree and jump inside.

Di one wey siddon with me for front carry one small bag like dat. And if you see di kind bie bie wey dis small boy carry, e long pass Osama bin Laden own. And na Osama dem call am.

Di order two siddon for back seat but dia own bie bie no long reach di one for front.

As we dey go, di one wey siddon for owner seat for back say, “Osama!” Osama answer “Yes Captain.”

“Check how many we get inside di bag?”

Osama open di bag, look inside ti-ti-ti-ti, den answer “Na three, Captain.”

Captain ask di second bobo wey siddon with am for back seat, “Stone, na how many you book?”

“I book for three. I pay am for two, I tell oga dealer say we go balance am after dis operation for Bariga,” Stone answer.

Captain… Stone… Osama… Oga dealer… three… operation for Bariga…?

I no need babalawo to come tell me di kind passenger I carry for my guonguoro.

As we jus enter Bariga, Captain tell me make I stop and park. I match break fiiaamm.

Osama open di bag quick quick, bring out three short gun, throw one to Captain, one to Stone and one for imsef.

Captain tell Osama make e siddon inside my guonguoro dey monitor movement while im (Captain) and Stone advance.

Captain and Stone cock dia gun and disappear for inside one street, di next ting I hear na Poarrhh! Poarrhh!! Poarrhh!!! Dem don dey fire gun be dat. Tori Olorun!

Osama tell me make I open ignition, on di engine and standby, so dat wen Captain and Osama finish di operation, dem go rush come and jump inside den we took off.

See as my body com dey shake like Shakespear, sote I no sabi di time piss drop for my shokoto trouser. So I don become driver for dis Bariga Alaye Boys? If olopa come jam me with dem nko, wetin I go talk? Olorun Oba o!

Bullet scatter area like say we dey for war front. And na so everybody for road jus dey run kati kati.

Di next ting be say, Stone carry Captain for back run dey come, e call Osama make e rush come join am make dem carry Captain put for inside my guonguoro make we took off, say di order cult boys don shoot Captain for belle.

Na im Osama rush go meet Stone, dem carry Captain for head. Come see Captain blood jus dey scatter everywia.

As di two both of dem dey carry Captain rush dey come, na im I do sign of di cross, put my guonguoro engine for gear one. I don waka be dat o. No be me and una.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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