My chinko torch light phone ring tire, I no jus touch am. Touch ke.

Small time, my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – look demsef, dem no come fit hold dia laugh again.

I ask dem wetin make dem laugh. Bisi say na Funke make am laugh, Funke say make I no mind Bisi, say na Bisi make am laugh.

I shout for dia head. I say if dem like make dem laugh from now till tomorrow, my own be say, anybody wey carry my guonguoro key make e bring am out kia kia before I close and open my eye.

Na dat time my wife Bose tell me say, if I like make I close my eye, na im be say I go close am till thy kingdom come.

Bose tell Bisi and Funke say as di rain don stop, make dem prepare go market go buy wetin e go take cook efo riro and eja tutu wey dem go use amala job for dis cold weda.

I come talk am for my mind say, so dis woman and im pikin dem wan cook fresh fish vegetable soup with amala take enjoy as rain jus fall finish? Tori Olorun!

As Bisi and Funke comot go market wey dey for dat our Abule Egba junction, Bose ask me weda I never still see my guonguoro key. I tell am say no. Na im Bose enter bedroom.

Small time Bose say, “Baba Bisi, come see your key here o!”

Quick, quick, I rush enter room. Bose jam door di bedroom door ppuuoorrhh, and lock am.

Bose jump enter for bed as God take create am. E come tell me say dat blanket wey I wan carry go cover anoder person for outside, im sef need am for dis cold weather. E say after all, na im be di origin owner of di blanket, any order person na counterfeit.

So, Bose and dis pikin dem been hear everyting wey me and Sikiratu talk for phone dat time? So, na Bose, my wife, plot all dis coup for me make I no comot for house today? Olorun Oba o!

Na dat day I sabi say, if woman plot coup for you like dis, dia own coup dey pass Dimka own. I swear!

Well sha, I put my chinko phone for silence make dat yeye buka girl no disturb me again. I jump inside bed and perform my duty till our pikin dem come back from market.

Later, na so di hole family come enjoy fresh fish efo soup and hot amala. Na after dat Bose bring out di key, smile and hand over to me. And me sef smile, collect di key. Everybody for house come laugh.

But me, I no fit go any wia again for di day. After all, dat ting wey I dey find go for Sokoto, e dey for my shokoto trouser.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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