Some people tink say dis our taxi driver work easy, if e easy like dat, why everybody no do am?

Dis work wey be say, if you no tanda gidigba for ground, some passenger go trowey you for gutter and even carry your taxi run.

But me o, dem no fit get me lai lai. Dem don try tire but ko se se! Dem no sabi say my second name na stone, noting dey move me. I dey always tell dem make dem go back go tell di person wey send dem say I no dey house, I don travel.

Di order day, na so one bobo come our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. E say make I carry am for drop go Owode wey dey for di road wey dey go Ikorodu.

Di bobo dey di same size with Oga VP academics. In fact, di bobo and di Oga for Kaduna na di same ten and ten pence. If you see di three both of dem, you go tink say na di same Mama born dem. Dem resemble, no be small.

Wen dis bobo first enter garage, I dobale greet am, but wen I come look im face well well, I come see say na anoder person.

I tell am my price to go drop am for Owode, e gree. Na so we begin dey go.

Wen we reach for Abiola Garden after Seven Up make we turn go down and enter Ikorodu Road near Ketu, di bobo put hand for di black nylon bag wey e carry, bring out two orange. He give me one, I tell am tank you. I no collect.

We pass Ketu bus stop, begin dey go Mile 12, di bobo never lick im own orange. I jus take style dey look am for my mirror as e siddon for back seat.

For Mile 12, go-slow plenty, na im one sisi wey don tanda for sun tire dey wait for danfo, give me sign make I carry am. Me sef give am sign back, say I carry passenger.

I talk am for my mind say I no be danfo or molue wey dey stop every bus stop to carry passenger.

I no even tink finish, na im my passenger say make I stop carry di sisi. I tell am say I no dey do like dat. Drop na drop. Di bobo say make I no worry, e go pay me double.

E no even talk am finish wen I match break fiiaaaammm. I open di door, di sisi jump enter for front.

As I move, di sisi come dey tank me, I say no be me, make e tank my passenger wey dey for back seat, say na im wan pay for am. Di bobo jus tell di sisi, “Don’t mention it, It’s my pleasure.”

We no even move one pole, na im di bobo give di sisi di orange wey me no gree collect. Di sisi grab am fast, fast. I sure say dat sun hammer am well, well for Mile 12 bus stop.

Di next ting be say, as di sisi jus lick di orange finish, e no talk again. E jus bend im head one corner, begin dey sleep sote e begin snore.

Na dat time di bobo bring out one white handkerchief give me. E say someting dey for my face, make I take di handkerchief clean am. I tell am tank you. I no collect. I put hand inside my shokoto trouser, bring out my hand towel and clean my face. I look di towel, I no see any ting.

Small time, di bobo phone ring, e answer. E come use small voice tell di person wey call am say, “Na two I see – one na Lace di order one na Ankara. But di Ankara no gree co-operate, and we don dey reach di market.”

Na dat time di ting come clear for my eye. So na kidnapper I carry for my guonguoro since?

Na me wey be man be Ankara and I no gree collect di two ting wey e don give me. Na di sisi wey be woman be Lace, and di sisi co-operate. Olorun Oba o!

Di bobo no sabi say we taxi driver sabi all dia kidnap language.

Wen we reach Owede spare part market, e say make I stop. I tell am stop ko, start ni.

Na so I match trottle till I drive enter Olopa station wey dey for dat Owede. Di bobo wan jump down, e no know say I use central lock

I tell Olopa everyting wey happen for road. Olopa say na everyday dem dey see dem. Olopa say to say I lick di orange or use di handkerchief, na so me sef for begin sleep like dat sisi till dem carry my guonguoro enter di spare part market, pieces am and sell di parts, plus including my own body parts. Olorun maje!

I tell Olopa make dem helep me collect my money for me. As dem jus put di money for my hand, na so I lef dem for dia, begin go my way. Di sisi still dey sleep.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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