Noting wey man no go see for dis Lagos. Every day na im orisirisi tings dey happen. And di more you look, di less you see. Lagos na real America Wonder city. I swear!

Na now I understand why dem dey talk say Lagos na Center of Excellence. Yes nah, na excellence for everyting – di good, di bad, and di… (Abeg helep me complete am, but if you use Segun Arinze, Taribu West, OBJ or Jagaban to complete am, na you sabi. My hand no dey dia o)

See like yesterday afternoon, I just go drop one passenger like dat for Ogudu GRA. Wen I come back for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, I say make I rest small before anoder passenger come.

Small time na im our union member Emeka drive im taxi enter garage. E just stop, e no even off im engine wen e rush come out.

Emeka come dey cry for my neck say, “Oga MAT I don die!” I ask am say na wetin kill you. Emeka tell me say dis one no be joke matter. E say im woman don abandon am. I ask am weda im wife don run comot for house. E say no be im wife, na im woman.

Na im I tell am say I no understand wetin im dey talk. Instead make Emeka open mouth tell me di tory, e begin to cry. I say shooo! Come see how Emeka come dey cry like small pikin wey dem born today.

I wan stand up comot for dia, Emeka come dey beg me say make I no lef am comot, say if I lef am, e go go jump inside lagoon. Olorun Oba o!

As Emeka dey cry so, e don smoke like 10 cigar. After dat, e comot one bottle of Alomo for pocket and open am. Wen e cry small, e go drink di Alomo and smoke di cigar. See Emeka wey no dey smoke before o. Tori Olorun!

Emeka come manage nack me di tori:

E get one sisi, Ngozi, wey e been give belle. Ngozi born di pikin for am. And dis same Ngozi na tokunbo o, no be chasis. E don born 4 pikin for anoda man.

Emeka come dey give Ngozi N1,500 every month make e dey take am manage with im 5 pikin dem.

Di matter now be say, Ngozi say e no wan do again, say e wan begin dey hustle make hungry no kill am and im pikin dem. E tell Emeka make e go face im wife for house.

Since dat time, Ngozi don dey go hustle for town every night – from one beer parlour to anoder – dey find customer dem.

And di woss ting be say, every night Emeka dey go find Ngozi from one beer parlour to anoder, dey beg Ngozi make e no turn am to abandon property.

E dey tell Ngozi make e no forgot di love e get for am, and di N1,500 feeding money wey e dey give am every month.

Wen Emeka nack me di tori finish, I tell am say na small ting be dat nah.

I ask am wey im wife dey, e say e dey house. I ask am how many pikin e born for am, e say na four. I ask am how im and im wife dey, e say di two both of dem love demsef no be small.

I ask am weda im ready to marry second wife, Emeka jump up. E say how I go ask am dat kind question? E say im no ready to marry any order woman join im fine wife.

I tell am make e siddon, e siddon. I tell am make e look my face, e look. I call am Emeka, Emeka, Emeka! I ask am how many time I call am. E say na 3.

Na im I tell am say, “Emeka, I sure say dis your name na fake. Omale ni yin.”

And as I jus talk so, na im one passenger enter garage say make I carry am for drop go Ebute Metta.

Na so me sef abandon Emeka for dia make e continue with im crocodile cry. I carry my passenger comot, go dey do my work. Abi, how you see am?

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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