Dem dey talk am say, fly wey no hear word na im dey follow dead body enter grave. And na true talk.

If papa tell pikin someting and di pikin no wan hear, di ting wey di pikin go see dey wait am for front. Be ni.

Di order day, I enter road late with my guonguoro. No be say I no wake up early for morning o, na my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – cause am.

Dat day, time nack like 2 o’clock pm in di afternoon before I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

I wake up, wash my guonguoro as usual, baf and chop my amala and ewedu with bokoto dat morning finish, na im I call my two pikin and ask dem how far with di JAMB wey dem dey plan to take.

My first woman pikin, Bisi talk say e don fill JAMB form finish. I ask am which school e put for di form, e say na UNILORIN. I ask am which course, Bisi say na computer e wan study. I say fine, dat na my correct pikin. By di time e finish di school, im brain go sharp pass di computer sef.

I ask my second woman pikin, Funke which course e fill for im own form, e say na human anatomy. I ask am wetin dat wan mean, Funke say na to study all di part wey dey for person body, in and out.

I ask am which school e wan go, Funke say na UNILAG. I jump up, I say over my dead body!

Na dat time dia mama rush enter parlour wey we dey. Bose ask me wetin make I shout like dat, say e hear my voice for backyard na im make e rush come. I tell am make e ask im pikin Funke wetin e tell me.

Funke tell im mama say na me ask am which school e fill for im JAMB form, as e jus mention di school, na im I begin shout.

My wife ask me weda na only dat one come make me shout like dat dis early morning. E say wetin I sabi about school matter?

Na im I talk say di night school wey I go for my village Ogbomoso before I run come Lagos don do me. After all, di Standard 5 wey I stop dat time, e pass all dis dia university wey dem dey go do sort, sort now.

I say weda or wedan’t I sabi school, di ting be say na my money I go use send dem go di school.

I come talk say dis yeye girl Funke na only man e sabi. E wan go study di tings wey dey for man body in di name of anatomy. And e wan lef all di school wey full for dis contry come dey go dat school.

I talk am again say na over my dead body e go go school dia. I say e wan go dia becos e hear say cold room dey for di school wey teacher dem go dey use im paw paw and boysquarter take play ball every morning, afternoon and evening.

I tell Funke say, wen e don ready to fill better school for im JAMB form like im senior sister Bisi, make e tell me, but for dat cold room school, na lie e dey talk. Over my dead body!

Na so I jump enter my guonguoro and begin go my work.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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