E don tey wen I work as I work yesterday. But no ask me weda or wedan’t I make plenty money becos I no go answer you.

I no wan make visitor dem wey I no wan see, come visit me for house for midnight. Anini, Osunbor and Dr Oyenusi dia grand pikin dem plenty for Naija. Sebi una understand.

Di ting be say, I work yesterday gan.

As I jus comot for my house for Abule Egba dat morning, na im one madam wey tanda with im woman pikin for road stop me. E say make I carry dem for drop go Queen’s College for Yaba.

I ask am you mean Queen’s College? Di madam say, “Yes, you heard me well. Queen’s College! Why?” I tell di madam say noting, na becos I no hear am well.

I tell di madam my price, e gree. I tell am and im pikin wey wear school uniform make dem enter.

I come dey talk am for my mind say, why dis woman carry im pikin go school wey dem talk say one ogbongo disease full for di school? I sure say no be im born dis pikin.

Di only ting I tell di madam be say, I no go fit drive dem enter inside di school o, say I get meeting dat morning for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Di madam say no troublem, make I jus drop dem for di school gate. E say e jus wan go pay im pikin school fees and go back go open im shop for Iyana Ipaja dat morning.

As I drop di madam and im pikin dey go back, na im anoder passenger stop me for Herbert Macaulay Way , near Sabo bus stop. E say make I carry am for drop go Mende for Maryland. I tell am my price, e gree. I open door for am, e enter.

I drop am for Mende, as I turn my guonguoro say make I begin go back for garage, na im anoder passenger stop me. Na one over short bobo like dat wey wia jacket. E say make I go drop am for Admiralty Way for Lekki Phase 1. I tell am my price, e gree. I tell am make e enter.

I drop di bobo for one bank like day for Lekki and begin dey go back, na im anoder passenger stop me. E say make I carry am for drop go Ajah. I talk am for my mind say na wa for today o.

Well sha, I carry am go Ajah. As di passenger jus come down, anoder person say make I carry am go Epe. Come see as my belle sweet.

By di time I drop di passenger for Epe, begin dey go Ikeja, night don dey come. Na im make I say make I follow Costain to Ojuelegba, to Maryland den to Ikeja becos I no trust dat IBB Bridge and di lagoon for night time.

Wen I reach for Sheraton junction for Airport Road, I branch and begin face Opebi. As I reach Allen Round About, na im one bobo wey tanda with one Allen Avenue babe stop me. From wetin e wear, you go jus sabi say di Allen babe dey on night duty.

Di bobo say make I carry di two both of dem. I ask am wia dem dey go, di bobo say make I jus carry dem dey go. I say dey go for wia? Abi di place dem dey go no get name?

Na im di Allen Avenue babe say okay, make I carry dem dey go for Berger. I tell am say sebi dem know di kind traffic jam wey dey for Berger to Mowe Ibafo side. E say dem know but make I jus carry dem dey go, any place wey traffic start, make I drop dem.

I say no wahala. I tell dem my price, dem gree and enter for back seat.

I no even comot for Allen Junction wey I begin dey hear some kind sound for back. Night don kukuma come so I no see clear for mirror wetin dey happen, but I see say di bobo don climb on top of di Allen Avenue babe. Olorun Oba o!

No wonder dem no know wia make I carry dem go. So, instead make di bobo go pay for hotel, na my guonguoro e take do short time?

Na im I park kia kia. I comot go open di back door. Come see as di two both of dem dey stark naked. Dem dey do di ting, dem no even hear say I don open di door.

I carry dia clothe, dem no still hear, instead na dat time dem come dey do am well, well. I enter for steering again, begin drive dey go.

As we reach for Alausa Secretariat, na im I see SARS. I stop, open di back door and call di SARS dem to come see wetin dey happen for inside my guonguoro. Di bobo still dey pump dey go, e no hear.

Na wen O/C SARS come shout, “Hey you two, what are you doing?” Na dat time di bobo and di Allen babe come back to dis world.

O/C SARS cock gun and order dem to come down. Na so dem jump down naked. I hand over dia clothe to di O/C , close di back door, enter for steering, start engine, put am for gear and begin dey go my house. Trust SARS nah, ntanta don land for dem dat night.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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