If you come Lagos and you dey wait make somebody tell you “Welcome to Lagos”, na im be say you go wait sote your name go turn to waiter.

Wen you enter Lagos, di first ting you go see for sign board na “This is Lagos”. Dat mean say, as you jus enter Lagos, from dat very time, you dey on your own (O.Y.O). Anyting you see – good or bad – take am so.

Na so dis our Lagos be. And na we taxi driver dey see pass as we dey always dey for road 24/7. Na orisirisi passenger na im we dey carry.

Yesterday na so one sisi come our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. Di sisi dress like Cow Boy, abi na Cow Girl.

Di sisi skin jus dey shine kakaraka like moon and na so im eye dey do yoriyori for inside. Di mini skirt wey e wear, if e make mistake bend down small, you see everyting wey dey yonder.

Im hair nko? Dat one long like from Benin reach Lokoja. And na orisirisi colour di hair carry – green, white, yellow, blue, red, black, etc etc. In short, di hair, di Cow Boy cap wey e carry and rainbow na di same ten and ten pence.

Di sisi waka come meet me straight for garage. E say im boyfriend wey dey for South Africa wan send car come Naija for am. I no know wen I shout South Africa? Di sisi shock. E ask me why I shout South Africa like dat, I tell am sorry, I no know weda na malaria dey worry me.

Di sisi say e come meet me make I teach am how to drive so dat wen di motor land, e go don sabi drive well well.

I ask di sisi wat kind motor im boyfriend wan send am, e say na Jeep. I tell am say jeep and dis my guonguoro no be di same ting o. E say make I no worry, say motor na motor. After all na four tyre all of dem carry.

Di sisi say e go pay me 100k for di driving lesson, and make di hole lesson no pass one week becos di Jeep go arrive Naija next weekend. Before I even answer am, e don count mint 100k give me. Olorun Oba o!

I tell am make e jump inside my guonguoro, say di lesson don start now, now, now. But di sisi say e wan make I drive go for dat road for Bar Beach, say na dia e like make I teach am. I tell am say your wish is my commander.

Na so we chuk head put for road tiil we reach Ahmadu Bello Way for Victoria Island, den begin go for Bar Beach side.

For Bar Beach, I tell di sisi make e take over di steering. I surrender my driver seat to am. Yes nah, na 100k dey talk. Who no like better ting?

But di way di sisi drive, e no drive like learner, e drive like person wey don do taxi driver work tele tele sef.

And I notice say, if e wan ask me anyting, e go first touch my kini before e talk. Small time di sisi use one hand hold steering, and kukuma use di order hand hold my kini. Tori Olorun!

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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