Wen dem dey talk am tele tele say, “Do me I do you God no vex”, or “Slap me I slap you God no vex”, some people dey laugh.

But di ting be say, e fit no be you go slap di person wey slap you back. Olorun go bring anoder person wey big pass am make e show am pepper.

Na di ting wey dey happen now be dat, and everybody don dey see am korokoro.

Di order day, na so one bobo come our garage wey dey for near ikeja under bridge. E say make I carry am for drop go Victoria Island. I tell am my price, e gree.

I come see say di bobo jus dey look upandan. Im eye jus dey move right, left and center like video camera. As e wan open di guonguoro back door enter, e first look around. As e jump inside, e look around again before e close di door.

Me, I jus do like say I no see wetin e dey do. No be Lagos we dey?

Jimoh wey go drop passenger for Isale Eko dat morning don already tell all of us for garage say one trailer fall for Alapere, block di hole road up to IBB Bridge.

Na im make I carry dis my looku looku passenger pass Ikeja roundabout.

As we pass Ikeja General Hospital, to pass Police College, my passenger jus lie down flat for inside my guonguoro. Di bobo no know say I dey see am for mirror. Na so e lie down till we pass di hole of Ikeja GRA enter Idiroko bus stop for Ikorodu Road, before e siddon again.

Wen we reach Fadeyi, to climb dat overhead bridge wey go carry us go Ojuelegba, small Go Slow dey for road. And e come be say di motor wey dey for our left hand side na truck wey olopa full for inside, and all of dem carry gun.

My passenger nearly melt. E come do like say na im di olopa dem dey look for since morning. Di bobo just carry im face troway for di order side. E do “Eyes Right!” till we pass di olopa dem.

Wen we pass Stadium, enter Alaka, Iponri, Costain to climb Carter Bridge for Iganmu and land for CMS, na im di bobo open di nylon bag wey e hold. E bring out Khaki trouser and shirt, plus including shoe. Di bobo comot di clothe wey e wear enter my guonguoro for our garage for Ikeja.

Before you say “Wadume!” my passenger don turn to soja in full uniform, and by dat time we don land for dat road wey dem dey take go Bar Beach for Victoria Island.

As we wan pass dat soja barrack wey dem dey call Bonny Camp, na im my passenger say make I branch. Na so all di soja wey mount guard come dey stand attention and salute my passenger.

E say make I stop after we don pass di gate. E comot money for pocket and pay me.

Na dat time e tell me say all soja now dey run for everywia olopa dey since wen Taraba wahala happen. E say dem sabi say olopa dey find any small chance wey dem go take show soja pepper too, na im make e dey wear im uniform only inside barrack.

As I begin go back to our garage, I come talk am for my mind say, sebi olopa dem dey finish bloody civilian everyday, na im soja come finish dem too for Taraba. Why dem dey vex for soja?

Na do me I do you. Slap me I slap you, God no vex.

Even if olopa slap soja back, no troublem. Na di same ten and ten pence. Na dem, dem. Make dia eye kukuma comot for we (bloody civilian) body.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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