Experience over time has shown that power in the wrong hands is detrimental to the society. The rights of an irresponsible individual over another become excesses and violations. Common sense goes out through the window.

A man can organise his home effectively, maintain relations with his parents, and respect his wife. Some Muslim men do the opposite. His mother is his wife’s boss. Actually, he is the boss, but delegates the boss-ship to his mother. And, guess what? Many Muslim women are very comfortable with that.

Does the law not say: “Obey your husband”? If your husband says, “Obey my mother”, you comply.

Does the law not say: “Seek the permission of your husband before you leave your home”? If your husband says, “Seek the permission of my mother before you leave this house”, you’d have no choice than to obey.

Does the law not say: “Do not interact with men without your husband’s permission”? If your husband says, “Do not interact with your male friends now you are my wife”, you do as you are told.

Does the law not say: “Respond to your husband, when he calls you to his bed, even if you are busy in the kitchen”? If your husband calls you to bed, while your mother and his are present, you sheepishly go to fulfill his conjugal rights.

Why does he not announce his desire for the fulfillment of his conjugal rights over the radio or better still on YouTube, so everyone knows he wants to copulate? It is his right, is it not? Who cares if others know he is about to score with his wife? He has rights. YES!

Those men who do not humiliate their wives in the presence of guests do not have rights nor do they have desires. How could they understand?

Why should a man not instruct his wife to cease all contact with men who were good to her before she learnt of his existence? After all, a woman’s life ends on marriage – according to the proponents of blind and passive obedience to the husband – does it not?

The woman severs all links with her well-wishers and becomes bound to her husband for her existence. She cannot even visit her own parents, if he raises objections, which he usually does.

Why does a man not authorise his mother to marry his wife and fulfill his never satisfied scoring rights on his behalf, if he expects his wife to seek the consent of his mother prior to stepping out?

Why does he not instruct his wife to seek nuptial maintenance from his mother? Why does he not name his children after his mother? Remember your husband is your Jannah (Paradise) or Jahannam (hell). You do not want an imbecile as your gateway to Paradise. Believe me, you will regret it. Remember his mating call could be a source of Allah’s wrath.

Advise him he would have been better off with just a sexmate instead of a wife and reserve your hips for someone who is worth it.

Obedience to the husband is as long as he deserves that obedience. He loses his rights of obedience the moment he loses his rational thoughts. The possession of rights is the possession of responsibilities, sensibilities and sensitivities.

•Umm Sulaim is the Publisher of Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts (https://iamummsulaim.wordpress.com).

Copyright © 2019 Umm Sulaim. All rights reserved.

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