Baba God create orisirisi people for dis world – di good, di bad and di Tinub . . . oh sorry, na ugly I wan talk o. Na sleep of tongue.

I no know why dis my tongue dey like to sleep anytime I wan use am. Se, na sleep dis my tongue come sleep for dis world?

If no be amebo dey worry di tongue, wetin go make am dey sleep everytime I wan use am? If e sleep and land me for troublem and dem carry me go anywia, sebi na me and im go go dia. Abi I go lef am for house?

Make una helep me ask am, se na only Oga Jagaban di tongue see wey be “Fine Boy”? Baba Iyabo nko? What of Segun EYErinze or Taribu East (Abi na West sef)?

Abeg make una helep me wake dis my tongue up before e put me for wahala. I no get power o. Na only dis my taxi driver work I sabi, no order ting.

As I dey try to nack una di tori tele tele . . .

Wen I dey prepare dis morning to go our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge, na so di sky come change, everywia come be like say na night we dey again dis morning.

Rain come dey shawa small, small. My belle come sweet, I tink say better rain wan hammer, make I relax for house and do “bend bend sleep” small with my wife Bose. After all, all work and no play make Oga MAT a dull driver. Abi no be so?

My two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – been go holiday for dia mama sister place since yesterday.

I lef Bose for parlour, enter room. I comot di rope of my shokoto trouser and lie down for bed. As I just open my mouth to call Bose!!!, di rain stop to shawa, di sky clear as sun come out. Tori Olorun!

Na dat time Bose siddon for parlour, tell me say, “Baba Bisi, you no wan go work again? Sun don come out!”

Na vex I take comot for house dis morning, begin go garage.

I just siddon for garage dey tink why rain play me dat kind boju boju, na im one sisi like dat enter for garage. E say make I carry am for drop go Ejigbo. I tell am my price, e gree . . .

For di sisi to talk to me sef, na wahala. Since wen e waka come, e dey for phone. Na only God know who e dey talk to for di phone. But I sure say na man.

As we dey drive dey go for road, di sisi still dey for phone. Di next ting I hear be say, “Yes honey, I just landed at Enugu Airport. It was a very smooth flight. Love you. (kiss, kiss, kiss).”

E no kiss finish, anoder person call am. And e say, “Hello, my love, I’m on my way. Please keep good Sharwama, that type you bought for me that night. I can’t wait to see you again. I love you (kiss, kiss, kiss).”

Dat very time, di sisi phone ring again, and . . . “Sweetheart, please I’m inside the banking hall in Port Harcourt. I’ll call you as soon as I get to the airport (kiss, kiss, kiss).”

Di sisi still dey answer call even as I drop am for Ejigbo. E just manage open im purse, bring out money and pay.

As I turn my guonguoro to go back for garage, I come talk am for my mind say if dis kind one greet you good morning, check your time well well because e fit be say na night we dey.

I dey suspect say dat sisi name na Miss Lainus, daughter of Mr Lai . . . (You are O.Y.O o!)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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