We are about to penetrate an adult-only zone. Children and the feeble of mind: Please find some other publications to read.

PROCEDURE ONE: The Unwritten But Highly Prevalent Rule.

Sex. Premarital sex to be precise. That is right. Much of it.

The woman, young and elderly, samples the boyfriend or husband-to-be. She is sampled in return.

Who does not like good things?

Armed with a who-knows-where-they-got-it religious text, everyone indulges.

The one, man or woman, who does not indulge in debauchery and restrains the sexual desire, is declared a Shia by the clan of elders and imams, guardians of culture.

Persons who partake in the pleasures of the flesh outside of marriage are the good Muslims, for whom paradise awaits.

Who does not wish to attain paradise enjoying the good things in this life?

PROCEDURE TWO: Dress Sexy.

Now, here is a good thing to relish – a fine woman who dresses fine.

With premarital sex comes self-awareness and the need to appeal sexually to her boyfriend.

Well showered and perfumed, she selects the appropriate attire for the day.

Neatly dressed and in adorning powder, eyeliner and lipstick, the woman is ready to render her undivided attention to her boyfriend.

She swaggers to the residence of her male sexual acquaintance.

PROCEDURE THREE: Ultimate Secrecy.

No! No! No! This gorgeous lady and her equally well-dressed boyfriend must not walk the street together.

Rather, they follow different paths to the same destination.

Alternatively, one walks far ahead of the other.

Should her boyfriend not have a home of his own, or should his house be occupied already by his wife, the rendezvous is an apartment belonging to a friend of her boyfriend or her family’s compound.

Rarely, however, the female has her own abode that serves the purpose.

During sexual intercourse, the moans, audible to anyone nearby, announce that she is having fun.

After the Ahs and Uhs, the two lovebirds reemerge as they arrived, separately, for they must never be seen together.

All efforts are executed to ensure secrecy of the sexual liaison.

Where possible, the destination is in a locality where neither of the sex adventurers is known.

Failing to achieve that, the meeting is restricted to nighttime.

The cover of darkness provides anonymity, a very critical factor in this game of intimacy.

PROCEDURE FOUR: The Game Changer.

Aphrodisiacs. Yep.

Men are known for ingesting sexual boosters, such as sildenafil citrate Viagra and vardenafil Levitra.

Men: Move over, please, and read.

To retain a man before and after marriage, the woman engages in all manners of sex-defining activities.

PAUSE. We shall return to that in a moment.

First, while the woman seeks every means to entice her spouse, is she sexually active in bed?

Nope! She lays on her back and opens her legs. That is it.

That was all she was taught by her revered Islamic teacher.

Should she desire paradise, she must not allow herself to be penetrated from the back through the vagina.

Her dear imam will be upset with her for being a bad girl.

Somehow, dear imam lost sight of the ban on anal sex and extended the prohibition to include vaginal sex from the back and the side.

Therefore, there is no doggy style, side thrust or any other spectacular positions of intimacy.

Those are for prostitutes, i.e., any woman who plays her part in bed is perceived as a prostitute.

The good obedient Muslim woman in the North of Nigeria adheres solely to missionary sex position.

Although a man may have at least two of such wives, his libido is gratified through the intimacy he shares with his girlfriends, typically Igbo, Ibibio, Efik or the multiple ethnicities of the South-South.

These women, he cannot marry, even if they are Muslim, for good Muslim women are the Hausa-Fulani, Zuru, Kanuri, Ebira, Igala, Tiv – insert the other ethnicities of Northern Nigeria – and Yoruba, more or less in that order.

The women of the South-East and South-South give him nights he craves during the day, yet they are strictly for extramarital affairs, or at most, often as the second wife, as his parents will have it no other way.

RESUME. Now, we can continue.

Aware her newly-wedded husband will sleep with another woman within days of her nuptial union, the bride needs help.

To administer that assistance and discharge their duty to the next generation, her mother, aunts, elder sisters, along with her female in-laws initiate the bride into the world of oral and vaginal sex enhancers.

The affluent can afford pharmaceutical sex-stimulating drugs.

However, more commonly, in the privacy of the women’s quarters, an assortment of herbs, fruits, and animal produce are blended into a powerful sex medication, collectively called women’s items.

Baobab roots, jujube roots, millet, rice, mangoes, honey, fish sperm, camel’s milk – powder or fluid – and so on, in precise combinations are prepared and packaged as sweet-scenting fluid, jelly, powder, and tablets – pills.

Everything she needs to keep her husband coming back for more is available, including perfumes and breast improvers.

To fulfill her spouse’s sexual satisfaction, the woman religiously stays on the guidelines of the older generation of womenfolk.

For a week or two before she is delivered to her husband, she is tutored on the mixtures and their essence.

Some she swallows; others she inserts in her vaginal orifice.

The vaginal suppository has the added function of keeping her sex orifice tight.

The man must enjoy that tightness.

In addition, the potions are sold among women, for use during their turn for sexual encounter with their spouse or for use with a boyfriend.

Should she administer a stimulant too powerful for her body, she just might spend the night dancing around the hips, with her darling wondering: What on earth is happening?

The lover boy may well shun her sexually that night.

•Umm Sulaim is the Publisher of Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts (https://iamummsulaim.wordpress.com)

Copyright © 2019 Umm Sulaim. All rights reserved.

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