Dis world don pafuka patapata. I swear! And na for Lagos e bad pass. Di kind orisirisi tings wey we taxi driver dey see for Lagos road eferyday, if we tell una all, hmmm, some people go faint, some go just peme straight.

Na so I siddon for our garage yesterday o, one sisi like dat rush enter. E say make I carry am quick, quick go for Sheraton, say e don already late. I tell am my price, e gree.

As Sheraton no too far, I say make e jump inside. Di sisi open passenger door for front and enter.

If you see dis sisi, hmm, you must to swallow saliva if you be correct man. Everyting for im body just stand like Standard Bank.

Di paw paw wey dey for im chest and im boysquarters for back, na equal and opposite, like balance equation. See di heavy red lip stick wey e take plaster for im mouth. Tori Olorun!

And di ting be say, di sisi na young, sweet sisi. I fit swear say dat sisi no senior Funke, my second woman pikin wey wan take JAMB dis week wey we dey inside so.

But dat sisi sabi talk oyibo, ehn! E just dey speak twee, twee, twee, twee for nose.

Na im I tell am say make e come down to my own level, make e forgot all dis twee, twee wey e dey speak so. Di sisi say make I no vex, say e be model, say na so dem train dem to dey speak for nose.

E say na one big oyibo company like dat wey invite dem for audition for Sheraton. Say dem need only four model wey dem wan carry go abroad for one ogbonge job wey dem go pay in dollar. I say shuooorrr! Na im I put leg for trottle, dey fire dey go.

Di sisi say, e tell im manager make e meet am for house dat early morning, but wen time reach, di man call am for phone, tell am say e no go fit come again, say e dey purge. Na im make e rush come carry me for drop for our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge.

Di sisi ask me say, as e no get manager so, weda I go do manager for am for dat day.

My mind go reach oyibo contry wey dem wan travel go. My mind enter di plenty dollar wey di oyibo company wan pay dem. I talk am for my mind say after all I be good manager nah. Abi na who dey helep me manage my guonguoro.

Na im I tell am say why not, if not? I say I go manage am even pass im manager sef. Di sisi tap me for my back and say, “That’s my manager. Keep it up baby!”

Me, baby? Today na today. But make I talk true, wen dat sisi take hand touch my back, my body come be like say I enter swimming pool. My body just cooole one time.

If no be say I get experience for dis taxi work, I for drive go jam di LASTMA wey tanda dey conduct traffic for dat Opebi junction because of how my body sweet me.

Wen we reach for Sheraton, come see sisi dem berekete. Na orisirisi sisi dem full for dia – large, extra large, lepa, lepa shandy, black, chocolate and di ones wey yellow pass yellow fever sef.

All di sisi dem don change and wear swimming pant before me and my model arrive.

Na im my model say make I follow am rush enter toilet make e change im clothe. I ask am weda dem go allow me follow am enter woman toilet, e say ok make we go for man toilet.

As we just enter di toilet and close door, di sisi turn im back for me, e say make I pull down di zip of im dress. I manage pull am. E say make I comot im dress for am. I ask am weda e no fit comot clothe by imsef, di sisi say weda I no be im manager, say all na part of manager work. Na im I comot im clothe for am.

I come see say na one kind big foam di sisi put for im bra take am pad im paw paw. Wen e remove im bra, my broda, my own paw paw sef na extra large, e big pass dis my model own hundred times.

Dat one na small ting o.

Di sisi say make I comot im dross for am. I say shuoooor. E say make I do quick, say make I remember say e don late.

Na so I bend down, begin pull down my model dross. Na so one long ting like snake just slap my face ppuuaarrh !

My broda, na man like me I dey deal with since!!

See di kind speed wey I take open di toilet door, run comot go jump inside my guonguoro for car park and took off!

Beware! No be all sisi wey you see for Lagos road be sisi o.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Update news