As di bobo just tell me say gas don finish for di cylinder wey e want take weld di exhaust pipe of my guonguoro, I no just know wen I begin speak in tongue as I shout, "Chineke merem ebere!"

Di welder say why I dey shout for im workshop becos of ordinary gas wey finish for cylinder. I tell am make e no vex, say me sef no know as di ting take comot for my mouth.

I tell am say I no even sabi di meaning of wetin I talk, say na for Emeka mouth, our union member for our garage, I dey hear am.

Di welder say make I wait for am, make e use im wheel barrow take carry di cylinder go buy gas for di next street.

My broda, na for dia all di rest worker dem for di mechanic workshop come meet me as I dey wait for Fatai o. Na di name wey dem call am be dat.

Di panel beater for di workshop say Fatai fit don branch go smoke igbo first before e buy dat gas.

Di oga of mechanic say make I no just waste my time dey wait for Fatai, say wen e smoke igbo finish, e go go shack "monkey tail" before e go buy di gas.

Di rewire for di workshop say make I just take okada go my house, rest and come back in di afternoon. E say before Fatai go weld di exhaust pipe of my guonguoro, e go don go Iya ruka place go chop amala after e don smoke igbo and shack monkey tail finish.

Na di battery charger own come make afraid catch me. Di charger say make I pray say Fatai go even come back to di workshop dat day.

E say di order day na so one customer like dat wait for Fatai till midnight. Di customer no know say Fatai don go shayo finish, pass go sleep for ashewo hotel wey dey for corner, till di next day. Tori Olorun! My broda, I just weak.

I look time, 2 o'clock p.m in di afternoon don nack. Na im I lock up, I tell di oga mecho make e helep me look my guonguoro, say I dey come.

I jump enter okada, I tell di okada man make e carry me go for my garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge. I say make I go tell my union member dem wetin dey happen.

As we reach Pen Cinema, say make we branch enter Moshalashi Alhaja and begin go Guinness, den to Ikeja, na im di okada man match break fiiaamm, den turn and face di side we dey come from. E just dey shout, “Task Force ! Task Force!!”

Come see as di okada man come dey shake like Shakespeare. E begin fire the trotle dey go. Before I open my mouth to say make e take am easy, I see all of us, plus including di okada, for ground for dat main road. We don get okada accident be dat. Olorun Oba o!

Di next ting be say, di okada just catch fire ppuuaarrhh! I no know as I take jump enter gutter. Di okada man still dey dia for ground, and di okada wey dey burn dey on top of im.

As people rush to go push di okada man comot for di fire, I manage comot for di gutter wey I fall inside, waka dey go for front.

Nobody sabi say na me be di passenger for di okada wey dey burn so. I manage waka go far, stop anoder okada, and begin go back to Fatai dem workshop.

As I just come don and pay di okada man, see Fatai begin push di wheel barrow and di cylinder dey come. You no need any babalawo to tell you say Fatai don shayo.

Im workshop people just dey tell me say I get lucky as Fatai return. I look Fatai ti-ti-ti-ti, from head to toe, I no know wetin make I do am.

I just dey do pele pele for am till e manage weld my exhaust finish. Na im I pay am, enter my guonguoro and took off.

I no go garage again dat day, na house I go straight.

I reach house, I no fit open mouth tell my wife and pikin dem wetin I take my eye see for road. Dem just see say my body dey shake, to open mouth talk, I no fit.

I remember my exhaust pipe wey fall comot for road dat morning. I remember Fatai. I remember as me and okada man fall for main road with im okada. I remember as di okada begin burn on top di okada man. I remember as I jump enter gutter...

Up till dis time wey I dey nack una dis tori so, I never still get mysef.

I just dey talk am for my mind say so dat useless welder for just make me go peme for road just like dat? Olorunmaje!

My God pass all di Ogbomoso and Lagos wintch dem put togeder. Return to sender!!!

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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