A young male, whose advances are rebuffed by a female, suffers a bruised ego.
Rejection hurts!

A hurting male is analogous to a wounded lion, roaring, and ready to fight to the death, in defence of his pride, of lionesses and esteem.

Does anyone understand that?

Can anyone appreciate the unease approaching the opposite gender creates in a young man?

It is with an immense courage that a male youth walks towards a female to ask her on a date.

What does he get, but an uncooperative stance from her?

Rejection has become the official initiation into manhood, a rite of passage that threatens to repeat each time he shows an interest in the opposite sex.

Coming of age

When does a man experience his first rejection?

Can anyone recall the first time a girl declined to go on a date with him?

Rejection being the norm that it is, and with multiple rebuffs, some young men may not be able to restore the memory of that first bruise.

To the many, who do recollect, that first rejection will be an odious disappointment.

As children develop into adolescence and begin to notice the opposite sex more, a crush is inevitable, sooner or later.

On average, by the time a boy is twelve 12 years old, he will meet a female he likes.

Having a crush on her is one matter; informing her of his feelings is a different matter.

He is excited about his admiration for her and is keen to let her know.

Ah, wait!

His shyness delays his actions, until one day, he utters the words:

You are beautiful.

He awaits an outpouring of reciprocal delight.

Oh! the girl mutters.

Is that it? Ooh!

At best, she replies with a thank you and resumes her activity, ignoring him.

Does she not understand he is interested in her?

Can she not see his facial expression?

Does his smile count for nothing?

Dejected, the boy attempts to soothe his broken heart.

The lucky firsttimer sails through this coming of age procedure when he receives a more welcoming response:

You look good, too.

With this step accomplished, he proceeds to have a conversation with her and invites her on a rendezvous – that very first date.

Dejected soul

Girls do not grasp how miserable a boy becomes when his heart is broken.

The boy imagines he is not good enough for her.

He had already mapped his relationship with her:

How happy he was prepared to make her;

The pleasure of having her as a companion;

How he would do anything for her.

Now, all he has is a dejected soul, shredded by a lost affection and a lost opportunity.

He could have protected her from anything and everything.

His self-confidence lays at the depth of the valley, dented, shattered, and, desperately, struggling to reemerge.

The girl of his soul is no more, but a figment of his own making.

Try again, he must, with another girl.

Will there ever be such a condition?

For the sake of his heart, he wavers to contemplate developing a fresh interest in a girl.

Girls are not worth it, he declares.

The honourable dejected soul refrains from becoming embittered by his experience with the girl, who damaged his heart.

Not all boys are honourable.

Many will spread rumours that he slept with the girl or fingered her.

That will teach her.

Another set of dishonourable young men will spend days, planning to rape her.

Some perpetrate that dastardly plot of theirs; others do not.

The misplaced vengeance does not cease at rape, for the crime will be recorded on video and distributed at school and in the neighbourhood.

Everyone will view the visual footage and pass it to others.

The girl’s violation becomes a viral piece of entertainment and gossip among schoolmates, girls and boys.

Her friends, too, will watch the video clip.

No one will hand the visual recording to the police.

The rapist is extolled as the hero; the villain is the raped girl, in tears and suicidal.

The dejected soul has triumphed his coming of age phase.

Still hurting, he embraces the bully in him and lashes out at the girl, rather, all girls.

He bears no hesitation to announce to his audience that the only part of a female he wants is her vagina, which he asserts is her ugliest body part.

A woman’s vagina smells! he continues, proudly.

Much of his youthful energy will be expended mocking women, their body, underwear, and everything else intricately associated with the feminine gender.

The bruised ego and popular societal sentiments endorse his traits, for a bully and an abuser, he shall remain.

Buoyed by the anonymous feature of the Internet, he takes to social media to vent his frustrations at girls and women.

Who do girls think they are? he questions, aware of little opposition.

Females ought to be glad he is interested in them.

Whether or not the woman is in another relationship, she must accept him as her new boyfriend.

Whether or not she likes him, she must assent to his sexual advances.

Who does she think she is?

By the end of his adolescence and well into his midtwenties, he has devised several means to humiliate, threaten, and extort women.

Dumped by his girlfriend, he publishes nude photographs of her on a social media platform.

Who does she think she is?

Expectedly, his audience grant him an ovation.

He is the man.

Accustomed to getting what he wants, he is certain of the productivity of his tactics.

Impressionable

Take a breath.

Breeeeeaaaaathe!

Inhaaaaaaaaaale!

Hold it!

Exhaaaaaaaaaale!

Do boys and men, really, need to perceive rejection as an affront on manhood?

The answer is an emphatic NO!

Rejection is a natural order of life.

If only parents taught their sons that males should mend their broken heart and move ahead with their self-dignity.

The truth is a man cannot have every woman he desires.

Ditch that!

A man’s prestige is established on acknowledging that not every woman, in whom he is interested, will share his zeal for a social interaction or relationship.

•Umm Sulaim is the Publisher of Umm Sulaim’s Thoughts (https://iamummsulaim.wordpress.com)

Copyright © 2019 Umm Sulaim. All rights reserved.

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